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Properly integrated sub should not be distinguishable from the stereo soundstage.
Big statement, careful with that one!
Different speaker to main system, different response, different amplification, different crossover position, different physical position, chance of facing different direction. Without matching all of that up and/or doing some pretty in-depth dsp it’ll never be well integrated.
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Agreed, perhaps I should have qualified my statement somewhat.
Otoh if a sub is rolled off at the right frequency and at an appropriate volume level, it can sound pretty good in my experience, and at least sound unobtrusive in the stereo image.
If the main speakers have very little low frequency output meaning that the sub is putting out more of the upper bass frequencies, then position of it becomes more important.
All just in my experience, which is that a sub can still sound good with decent smallish speakers, without having to go to the degree of integration that you describe.
Properly integrated sub should not be distinguishable from the stereo soundstage.
If it's going thud thud then it's probably a pos to start off with and definitely not set up right.