Football

Could be a handy placeholder before Phil Jones takes the reins, and leads them back to glory.
Rooney not been mentioned yet?

Oddschecker has (in descreasing likelihood based on odds):

Xavi, Van Nistelrooy (perm obvs), Southgate, Ruben Amorim, Thomas Frank, Graham Potter, Kieran McKenna, Massimiliano Allegri, Edin Terzic, Nagelsmann, Ole (!), Marco Silva, Pimienta, Inzaghi, Carrick, Howe, Emery, Conceicao, De Zerbi, Conte, Hoeness, Lopetegui, Flick, The Sheriff(TM), Tom Cleverley, Pioli, Iraola, Big Ange, Xabi Alonso, Simeone, Russell Martin, Farioli, Ancelotti, Zidane (!), Martinez, Enrique, Gary Neville, Gary ONeil, Mancini, Maresca, Tuchel (!), Rooney (!), Motta, Hurzeler, Roy Keane, Gerrard (!), Vieria (!), Schteve, Pep (!), Hasenhuttl, Motella, Roger Schmidt, Arteta (!), Moyes (!), Bodgers, Rangnick, Klopp, Lamps, Mourinho, Jesse Marsch.

If Southgate gets it, I won't believe this isn't part of a global streamer's documentary and grand plan.

... Tuchel (!), Rooney (!), Motta, Hurzeler...

There's your Rooney.

Someone should just round up the class of '92 and Rio and parachute them in.

Their more deluded fans are demanding Unai Emery be appointed.

I've seen a bit of this. So ridiculous. The level of entitlement is stagggering.
That said, I suspect they might have showed some interest over the summer before we chucked another 5 1/2 years at Unai. There's no way he'd go there with what he's got going on.

I'm beginning to think Sir Dave Brailsford may not be a sporting mastermind

Please please be Southgate in.
Marginal gains

It’s not entitlement. It’s expectation.
United have :
Huge debts
But also big income sources (all those noodles) and big expectations and big click generation.

The expectation is for a new manager rather than a builder and project.

Surely it is time for a complete reset. They need someone with Manchester United DNA. Someone who understands the club. Someone who bleeds red. Someone who understands the pressure of being at Manchester United and winning at Manchester United. Step forward Roy Keane with Gary Neville and Paul Scholes as his assistants.

They’re gobshites who’ve been found out in managerial terms time and time again.

And I fucking love Roy.

That would be amazing.

Which is why it would be so funny.

The entitlement in believing that any manager would leave their current role if asked and go to utd just because they are utd.
When now that is quite clearly not the case. Of the top tier managers, I'm not sure many would.

£6 million a year would tempt most coaches, no?

U sure?
The chance to turn around United for £6 mill and a sign on/off and be blameless if you fail?

Apparently Emery's on £8m at Villa.

At least he leaves behind a legacy of having invested hundreds upon hundreds of mils on players of the calibre of Zirkzee, Antony, Hojlund and Mount for astute prices 👍

What an absolute shitshow and peack utd that after months of the writing being on the wall they sack him after a game they actually dominated and were done by bad luck and a ridiculous refereeing decision.

It's one of the biggest jobs in football, of course Emery would go, doesn't matter what he's building at Villa, it's a huuuuge step up.

Micky Rooney?

Give it Mickeh Rooneh til end of the season

in November? No way

£6m a year for 3 years, and you'll only have to work 18 months. Sign me up.

Looks like it's Ruben Amorim in.