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I'm trying to keep this simple. What I've noticed recently is that if I think of the goals I used to have, of big house, wife, kids, friends, in the lap of luxury, I feel miserable if I compare myself with people who have achieved that. I used to hang out with people who were on 300-700k per annum years ago. They also had a plan for a multimillion payoff from private equity or a partnership or property development or something. By now some of them are top consumers, private jets and all that. One of them has a stately home with a staff of 75. I'm a virtual shut-in who has done 2 years' work in the last 30, buying the marked down food in the supermarket. If I think about absurdism and brownian motion, I feel fine about it.
Ever read Escher, Gödel, Bach? Self-awareness isn't either/or, it's a continuum. Self-referential feedback loops are what give rise to intelligence, and the more of them you have, the more intelligence you have. Metacognition is how we avoid being manipulated via our primitive drives.