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Have you conducted a properly weighted survey to capture the views of Alzheimer's Society service users?
Not sure who this was aimed at but yes, I've been one participant on this sort of research project in the past, including at AS. As I said above, there will have been a basic risk/benefit analysis applied, so it certainly won't have needed a majority of service users to endorse the message in any survey/consultation, just for enough of them to do so to make the overall calculus favourable.
In my experience, spending on paperclips was, in the overall picture, negligible for all charities (with the exception of the PAS or Paperclip Appreciation Society, who spent a frankly obscene amount on them)
Have you conducted a properly weighted survey to capture the views of Alzheimer's Society service users? Or find out what drove this campaign? Because that might be something worth investigating. Rather than looking at what they spend and thinking "ooh that's a bit much".
Maybe people in the majority do feel like their loved ones die multiple times before death.
Those service users who are upset need to have their views heard. And then this needs to be explained back to the campaigners why it's not very sensitive.