I hate

smashed burger wankers, you haven't reinvented the wheel you've just pressed down on your burger with a spatula

Was being my attempt at humour.

It was that or can you redo a kitchen for less than 40k?

We finished a bottle of tequila last night, christening it, so I'm not getting much humour today.

You can redo a kitchen for less than £40k (it helps if it's tiny, you're boring and you shop around)

We reused and repurposed and did a lot of our own work but our kitchen came in at about 3500 UK dollars.

Lots of the humour is missing as written the tone is lost and you haven't read some of the golf club thread posts.

How is the healing going?

£35,000 UK dollars, did you have a pro ject manager....was there a Gantt chart?

Used to get invited to candle lit suppers(TM Mrs bouquet) and people would talk at me as if I cared. So I talked about old Skoda's, lancias, fiats and soon they stopped inviting me.

The only thing we did (my missus coz I was broken) was strip out the old units.
I think it'll be about £12k with £2k of that unbudgeted electrical work. We also found a cheap washing machine and fridge to replace our existing ones.

Decent range of movement coming back now. Forget it's been broken and do dumb shit like clap and I'm quickly reminded.

I'd laugh and call you a fuckwit...if I hadn't done exactly the same

Reminds me, being called a mysogonistic cunt by the ex, as when she was kitchen shopping all the sales men talked to me. Whilst I pointed to her and said her money not me. Didn't meet any women sales people.

Kitchen designers in b&q/homebase etc. You are not a kitchen designer. You are a salesman on commission. Yes you produce pretty photo shop drag and drop pics and floor plans but it is all drag and drop.

Have built a few kitchens over the years and had experience of building true bespoke kitchens. So have an idea what I talking about re plumbing waste pipe drops and wiring.

Whom ever does any kitchen work in the ex's flat will find cables on the diagonal, a floor that isn't flat and wall cupboards of different sizes so always looks out when looking at them.

I know who he is but he can’t hurt me, because I don’t watch telly

Seriously it’s for people in nursing homes…leave it alone

Take away one zero there cowboy, ya think I’m some kind of baller?

I see myself as a rhinestone cowboy...

Does that mean you are accepting the Gantt chart comment? ;)

Ok I worked in project management and people loved a Gantt chart ( over blown horizontal bar graphs) the project is going to shit but there are colourful shite that means some one is happy.

Proof, if needed, that I haven't channelled my inner Elsa and let it go.

Sorry not sorry, unfamiliar with such a chart.
We just did what needed doing to make a small space (4x2.5m with 4 doorways at one end) work for us.

IIRC those charts are to help project managers co-ordinate the running of stuff; they show what depends on what, so if the glaziers don't turn up until Thursday he can say that's gonna cost forty grand etc

Which doorway leads to the servants quarters?

They all do, I live there.

Best thing I've found for tyre gashes: https://eclecticproducts.com/product/shoe-goo/

That big stupid faced wanker on social media, mugging and gooning at the camera whilst shoving another smash burger that he's 'obsessed with' into his stupid fetid doughy puss..

EDIT. This melt

1 Attachment

Never heard of these before.

But but I remember street food ladies in Peru always use these to smash the fuck out of meat. Was never a massive fan, but assumed it was to speed cooking and make sure it's cooked safely.

I hate those burgers and the fucking backward baseball cap cro-magnon dickheads two-fisting a burger taller than their face into their gob with ooze dripping down their forearms and off their chin. Then they complete the bite and chew with so much food in their gob their face bulges out like a fucking chimp.

Knife, fork, plate.

I agree. Its the same the pulled pork/bbq brigade. It's very strange when people make 'eats meat' an outwardly projected part of thier personality.

You like burgers. Well done. Now, shut the fuck up and eat your dinner.

Yup!

i hate ....... using a knife fork and a plate to eat a burger !

two buns a 1/4lb burger bit of cheese and maybe a bit of salad / gherkins
done

if you need to use portrait rather than landscape to capture your burger for your wanky social media account it can get in the sea.

I think I’ve said it before but 30 years ago I went to a Wimpy with a guy from uni.
It was his recommendation. “Wanna eat a burger with a knife and fork?”

I’m not easily shocked, but it felt perverted like a John Waters film and then not wanting to be a prude…I did it. I ate a burger with a knife and fork off a plate. It’s pretty out there I know, kinda taboo but sometimes rules are there to be broken