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That sounds very terrible. I hope you can still find some small moments of happiness and get some support.
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What about support groups with other people suffering from ME? That might be somewhere to talk about what you are going through with other people going through similar things. Like I said, I don't know what it's like to live with ME but things can always get better.
I don't think you should think of yourself as stupid, from what I have read of your posts on here, you are eloquent and very knowledgable on a range of subjects.
Have you thought about an ebike? Maybe doesn't fit with the weight weenie dream tourer ethos ;) but it could be a good way to get out without expending too much energy and getting to see a bit more outdoors, I don't know whether that it something you could manage.
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There's no actual treatment. No cure. Just private therapists who may be able to alleviate symptoms, if you're lucky and can afford them. The cause is unknown. The most you get from the NHS is CBT to help you accept your situation and be patient about pacing yourself. Pacing is important because if you have a good day your instinct is to do as much as you can. But if you use all your stamina it makes you ill for a few days. It's called post-exertional malaise. You're supposed to prevent it by never using more than 80% of your stamina. It's frustrating. And friends and family lose sympathy because they think you're lazy. They see you walking to the shops and think you're healthy. They don't realise that a short walk is your big achievement of the week. Most people with ME end up with no friendships and fractured family relationships
Then there's the mental stuff. It's mainly brain fog. Difficulty with concentration. Needing to read everything 3 times. Being unable to follow a film unless it's got subtitles and you pause and rewind a lot. I need to think slowly and revisit everything, otherwise I make mistakes. But I forget that I'm not clever any more, and if I make a decision at normal pace, even something very trivaial, it's often a regrettable mistake. I have to remind myself that I'm quite stupid, not the clever person who ran a business and wrote for newspapers. I can't have a productive life. No ambitions. No achievement. No money. No eating out or going to the cinema. It can be hard to convince yourself not to give up. Life has been stolen from me. It's like prison, but prison would be better, because I'd socialise more and maybe study something and the sentence would have an end date. (Open prison obvs, not high security.)