I hate

I hate how supermarket lettuce is packaged. Surely there's a better way...

Grow your own and then zero packaging?

Ah of course, why didn't I think of that!

Yeah, we try to buy the loose versions of stuff. Greengrocers?

Some stuff, like cucumbers (which can get in the sea, fuck! sea cucumbers!) do keep longer wrapped in plastic. But there are companies making non-plastic alt wrapping for food that still keeps it fresh.

It all increases your exposure to plastic leeching into your food. It’s stupid. Everyone thinks oil and gas are evil but they forget about the chemicals industry that dgaf about the health of living things.

People using a tiny electric hand fan outside

Are you more of a traditional fan?

It really should be fuck all to do with bins. I don’t pass one on my normal morning dog walk. It goes in my pocket (there can be up to four dog eggs from two dogs) and in the bin when I get back.

It acts as a hand warmer in winter, obviously.

I mean, it would be fifty times as effective!

We bought my mum a pair of those headphone type fans that you wear round your neck whilst she was going through the menopause, she bloody loved them 😂

People who wear Huel t shirts.

Advertising that one has an unhealthy relationship with food.

I use Huel on bigger training days as quick & easy extra fuel. No t-shirts though.

I used to buy cheapo choco milk similarly bitd, which admittedly is much cheaper and arguably tastier.

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Party Animals

Your neighbours only just going to bed?

Our do you mean air quote style self identifying "party animals"

Quoting the daily mail party animal “brick in nuts”

A low rent David Brent

You know there's like doughnut shops and kebab shops and bakeries and and and...

I'm all over that, 5k race tonight followed by ice cream from the shop on way back, then a Watermellon Jelly starter followed by pizza main. Just ate a peach to top up on the healthy food.

Chocolate milk is great for recovery, but you can set you clock by the farts it produces in me

farts

Huel is a good fuel for these.

Have we done magicians yet specifically “close up magic” guys that do corporate dinners or weddings? Those wankers.

The “magic” is bad enough. I am supposed to be amazed that you have done something and I don’t necessarily understand how it was done. We live in a world where most things are done through processes the average person has no understanding of. We just accept it.

We don’t get amazed by search engines or medicines or heat pumps. Why should we be entertained by a guy pretending to rip up a playing card only for it to appear later?

But really it’s the patter, the weird “I failed at standup but I still have some gags” crap.

Fuck those guys

Who gets a magician for a wedding? Your friends/family are beyond help