Paris Olympics 2024

This is the worst village fete ever. Boredom weaponised. Just shut up. No more speeches. Just put some Daft Punk on.

I'm so bored now

BBC commentator who clearly hates that he knows French and is having to translate is cracking me up.

When does Zidane head butt the president?

this is almost as boring as actual sport

Quite enjoying it.

That music was like Zidane was off to Mordor.

Walk slower you cunt. I'm about to turn this off

Supernature is an excellent surprise addition.

They're going to set fire to Notre Dame again the mad lads

Could be going to Arc de Triumph? SirCav rides it down cobbles?

Rep.

Dancing fella giving off Rishi announcing the election vibes.

I'm liking the four terrified people in a boat, and that nobody knows who one of them is.

He’s taken all his bikes to cash converters.

This "terminator" song is a banger

It's taken them 6 hours to go half a mile down the river. That would take a week

Rafael Nadal, Serena Williams, Carl Lewis and some other lady I don't recognise.

Nadal’s trews going fully see through.

Carl Lewis thinking his fee is not nearly enough.

This is soooo bad. A boat full of wet non French people

It would have been shit in the blazing sunshine

Ok even I'm getting a little tired now.

The horse on the river, the flag, the first 5 minutes of Eiffel tower light show, the elements were there but not for an hour.

I want the dance boat and bridge fashion disco back...

Saw Cerrone do this live at Brixton Disco festival last year or 22. Was excellent.

Why is it all tennis cunts?