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Oh no, you wouldn't.

“When we watch Emily in Paris or [the film] Amélie we know it’s not
quite the real Paris – we’re going to play with all those cliches, but
we’re also going to challenge them,” said Thomas Jolly, the young
director who has created the show. “Paris is also its vibrant youth,
different cultures rubbing shoulders in the streets.”

He envisioned the show as a giant performance in 12 acts, culminating
at the Trocadero in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, where 100 heads of
state will watch.

France was impressed by the humour of the late queen’s apparent
parachute from a plane with James Bond during London’s opening
ceremony in 2012, and one priority for the Paris show is to provide
its own form of tongue-in-cheek and inventiveness, to disprove any
stereotype of French haughty seriousness.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/article/2024/jul/25/paris-prepares-for-olympics-opening-ceremony-spectacle-along-river-seine

Greenpeace activists left former prime minister Rishi Sunak with a £2,937 repair bill after they damaged 15 tiles when they climbed onto the roof of his North Yorkshire home, a court heard.
Michael Grant, 64, Mathieu Soete, 38, Amy Rugg-Easey, 33, and Alexandra Wilson, 32, appeared at York Magistrates’ Court on Tuesday for the first day of their trial.
They each pleaded not guilty to a single count of causing criminal damage at Mr Sunak's constituency home in Kirby Sigston, near Northallerton, on 3 August 2023.
The Richmond and Northallerton MP also had to pay tree surgeons a £1,450 invoice after their scheduled work for that day was cancelled.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ceqdezyzgg2o

One of the accused is an old roller derby teammate, so I'm keeping everything crossed that this case doesn't go the same way as the recent ones. Surely Rishi can just search down the back of the sofa and find 3 grand, can't he?

If they repeat the queen being parachuted it would be a showstopper for sure.

15 damaged tiles is 3 grand repair? Blimey, maybe I should be a roofer.

Drop it like it's hot

Sounds like those dodgy roofers that rip off people.

RIP Aunt Cathy:

https://x.com/Jackie_Buddie/status/18165­01440472305777

Wodehouse once said you'll never mistake a ray of sunshine for a Scotsman with a grievance.

Proper:

"i'd put a stake through her heart and garlic round her neck to make sure she never comes back"

But unfortunately...

She never went away

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hippy is always right

fin.

Some fucking expensive tiles. Are they off the shuttle or something?

Sure the roofer could cut a nice deal with a man who has previous for cutting deals. Do the defence get the option to get their own quote for how much the work would cost?

So edgy

I’m from Rishi’s bit of N Yorkshire (Clack Lane Ends) and can confirm he is either being ripped off or he is getting some extra work done and fiddling the insurance.

If he lit a spliff with it 👌🏽

There’s different ways to do a job, if you’re putting in for damages you’re going to shoot high and include a full scaffold into the quote.

He quit didn't he?

Snoops in red? I can’t believe a rolling20s gang member is opening the olympics.

If I was a roofer being asked to quote to replace a few tiles on a house owned by a guy richer than the king I'd probably chuck a bit extra on top too

Probably got tiles made from rhino skin or gold flake or some shit too.

How did D o double g get the gig?

Took a mac instead of single-use plastic. Basically everyone in that photo except Starmer is a penguin murderer.

His father was a rainmaker

+rep

Big Sam Allardyce bottom left