Crap 'Buzzwords'

'Growth edge'. Some sort of HR professional development hell-lingo meaning, I think, area for improvement.

Have an Activation Session scheduled for the once-in-a-generation rethink of how we do business.

LOE means 'level of effort', which took me too much effort to have to decipher.

TIL

That “stage”and “phase” have entirely different meanings and only a total maniac would confuse the two

My big boss thinks he's the Elon Musk of railways. He gets really twitchy whenever he has to present anything to the Fattest Controller and insists on fettling the content of his papers till they're the perfectly dressed word salad that he employs to make his peers think he's the smartest man on rails and that he can see the future (of trains).

Whenever I present him with anything his default response is to tell me that I haven't thought deeply enough and that I need to carefully read his previous missives and learn from his genius.

So now I write board papers that use meaningless little turns of phrase that I know will tickle his inner Ted Talker. The other day I wrote something for his review and employed a few choice phrases including "extenalities" "emerging realities" and "creating the conditions for" in a paper. My new line manager presented it to him as if she'd written it and and I nearly rolled my eyes out of my skull when instead of his usual response, there was a pause followed by "That's BRILLIANTLY worded".

Not quite a buzzword but everytime I hear someone say the phrase "you got this" I shudder.

Heard it shouted a good few times when I was briefly walking by the hackney half the other day. Don't like americanisms in general but for some reason this one really gets to me.

This didn't get the rep it deserved

familying

As seen in the Skoda advert on telly.

"So the exam question is..." has been gaining "traction" at work recently

Are you a teacher?

No, that would be acceptable in education.

Engineering

Nike CFO, Matthew Friend, reportedly told investors last Thursday: "Our teams are also attacking opportunities across price points."

"So the exam question is..."

We (compliance-ish in a big bank) have "What is the exam question" a lot. Although in fairness a big chunk of my work has, until recently, been driven by audit findings... so you do have to make sure that you're answering that.

In-Country

Used to refer to our UK workforce.

Pivot is flavour of the week for my lot

Pivot is the new "swivel".

As in 'sit on that and pivot'?

Have they been watching Friends re-runs

'Did they signpost when they will be able to return?'

You mean, 'Did they tell me'?

Speaks To when they really ought to be saying Speaks Of

Like talking around.

Today we are talking around....

Instead of talking about

On pod casts, everyone leans into things nowadays.

'Smash it'

I hate this and wish it would stop

'Jump right in'

It is catching like a cold.

‘Pushing back on this’

I don’t have the time, nor inclination to take on any more useless shite today, thank you very little.