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johnnettles2
Being frank, I don't think this idea is worth you perusing.
The answer for someone else would be to get a moderately aged Transit and add some insulation, sound proofing, and maybe thinking about an easy way for them to break in without causing too much damage to see there are no tools.
But you won't be happy with that sort of thing, so you're limited to getting something bling which you're not willing to spend the money on.