A lot of decaf is roasted pretty dark because it’s very vinegary at light levels, certainly Swiss Water process decaf anyway, so you’re in luck given that slightly unappealing brief. It still probably won’t taste as roasty as Starbucks though.
Not sure if rude or dim but yes, if you want decaf that tastes like Starbucks which is characteristically heavily roasty tasting, a lot of decent roasters’ decaf has a bit of that about it.
A lot of decaf is roasted pretty dark because it’s very vinegary at light levels, certainly Swiss Water process decaf anyway, so you’re in luck given that slightly unappealing brief. It still probably won’t taste as roasty as Starbucks though.