-
That's one of the few places I've actually been to in Norwich and it was excellent. Well done :-)
-
Keep being you Hayley x
This big shoe stealing girl approves
1 Attachment
-
-
hard relate, glad that you came out with it. transformational energy, full support!
-
You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d call the birthday ride off due to the rain, you’d think no one would ride round Epping with months worth of rain returning it to bog.
You’d be wrong
When I woke up this morning I just accepted I was going to get wet and as such put my trusty Uniqlo shell on and quick dry underwear. The two things that I cared about was not getting swamp butt and keeping my core warm, everything else was fair game to the elements.
Several people had dropped out, be it because of the weather, getting hit by cars, helping stopping deportations in Peckham, or choosing to bunk off work in the south of France. All honourable reasons. We even give commendations to the girl bosses too busy grinding and those with sinusitis, even those who are made of sugar and would simply dissolve if the rain hit them.
This left me, bound by the fact of organising the thing, @TvH bound by his rail ticket and George, bound by the fact I knew where he lived and he better get on his damn bike.
Setting off over the marshlands to long short I just tried to hit every puddle I could to hit saturation point as quickly as possible. That’s the worst part. Knowing if I got this done I could have a naturally processed Colombian batch brew and a vegan babka to recover. This is where @TvH joined us, excited for me gassing up the coffee but I have to admit I think he was left disappointed by it being a little over extracted. As it cooled however he said it “opened up” but he could have just been swayed by the digital coffee thermometer that had giving placebo. What was a known quantity however was the vegan pastries and beaten by a whisker were fantastic.
Arriving at the forest it was eerily quiet, sensible and sane people were leaving it far alone. The only people about were speeding van drivers justifying their tax write off and ultra runners in those little vests (you know the ones). It left us fellow insane people yo have quite a serene ride up to the tea hut.
It was nice to be able to slowly grind up the hills and not be completely exhausted. I’d been sick the last few years and after some gut explorations I now know it’s not killing me but I did need to change my diet (rip 10 years of veganism). I no longer feel exhausted by my bowels forcing me to be permanently in a fasted state and can just relish being desperately unfit. Something I hope to work on.
As we created the hill we must have ridden 10 kilometres max, maybe less. Even that was split in half with a pastry break. Meaning it was the perfect time for another. A fish shop in the middle of the forest probably doesn’t sound too appetising, especially with my aforementioned dodgy gut, but it was delicious. The lady was very nice about me not being able to eat milk, garlic or onions and recommend a chilli mango prawn roll. A sweetheart I thought but I’d think different if we were discussing ULEZ or social progression over the last 40 years.
Tucking in was a treat, sweet, spicy and all tucked in a fresh bread roll. £6 all in all, northerners may gasp but let me tell you in the ol’ smoke £6 won’t usually get you a pint let alone some fresh chilli prawns.
It was then we were treated to desert, a wild @platypus arrived absolutely caked in mud. His natural state of course. To simply ride the fire roads up would have caused him to think about wider life for too long so a slog through the mud planes it was.
After a quick tea and his story about selling his van (ask him about this) we headed back into the woods on the fire roads to the north east.
I have to admit, I got us lost at this point, the forest looks different in the wet. I tried to play it off as the “child like experience of getting lost in the woods” but everyone saw right through my now 29 year old copeium. The only reprieve from people’s glares was the spotting of deer, numerous as they felt at home in the forest without the Specialized e-biker boys tearing it up.
Rather than stopping for directions I decided to lead us on, going down some steep inclines and treacherous terrain. It made me appreciate my bike all the more. it might look like a posh grocery getter, and it is, but it’s more capable that it looks and its rider can preform. I safely navigated some technical roots descents on my 2.3 slicks. Like a knife through butter or some of that wank.
Tvh took over at this point, likely spurred on by the thought of picking up his new sweet tandem from platypus’s house. Guiding us back through some light brush and gravel sections to the train station. It’s at this point platypus asked me
“What’s on the trends for this year” and I have to admit, I was too out of breath to articulate so I’ll leave them here:
1) boho chic - we’re talking 2000s north London celeb caught by the tabloids for having a cheeky snort, but in bike form.
Think ratty posh fixie or converted flat bar sports bike, you might lock it by the quick release wheel outside Jolene while you dash in for a coffee (you’re not employed, daddy pays) , maybe you’re in a size smaller T-shirt and some wide denim, tiny shoe
2) tinkering is out, I’m sorry that was for lockdown. Now we take the bikes on a trip or leave them to fall into disrepair in the shed. You might even boulder or hike, you use your nice bike to get to Pilates, this feeds very nicely into number one
3) I think tyre size is irrelevant, what’s more important is your posture on the bike, you need to turn up looking like you didn’t sweat, if you do that on 23 or 2.3 it doesn’t matter.
By this time we were on the train, heading home, absolutely caked in mud. This did not stop hugs being had and smiles being exchanged. I’m very thankful for my friends, who were here to ride or sent nice messages.
Hopefully it’s sunnier next year tho
5 Attachments
-
-
V sad to miss…
-
@Cupcakes or @hollow__legs maybe able to help or know someone who can (albeit they're both Edinburgh based)
-
Think I got another bike in me girls,
sun is shining, I’ve had one iced coffee and a flirt with the queer barista, it’s given me the belief I can do another
Yoga bike I think, a new archetype I have been discussing with the cabal and fleshing out. Going through peer review some known critics have highlighted this concept is just “a beater bike”. They’re wrong of course, it’s like saying the gay bike was just a shed find with Japanese handlebars and pronouns, or the posh hybrid was just a retro mtb through the lense of too much furlough and government imposed social isolation. No one would agree with these statements.
-
it’s like saying the gay bike was just a shed find with Japanese handlebars and pronouns, or the posh hybrid was just a retro mtb through the lense of too much furlough and government imposed social isolation
People who say this don't understand that the chosen stickers actually effect how the bike rides more than irrelevant component choices like tyres or grips.
-
Set in early-2025, the thread follows Maj in a near-future UK experiencing societal collapse due to critical resource shortages, ecocide and a Conservative government. Armed biker gangs freely hijack riders with boutique components, leading to the return of the "beater bike". The trends for pre- and artifically- aged clothing bleed into the world of the bicycle, with newly built custom frames being pre-aged on the salt flats that used to be Walthamstow Marshes, and a rejection of the concept of "truing a wheel".
-
rim brake lemond poprad with flat bars and ceramic mavics.
1 Attachment
-
BareNecessities
velosaurus
Yemble
launchpadboi
c.h.e.
spotter
Eejit
TvH
ectoplasmosis
Cupcakes
Belagerent
ibob
samrensho
Hulsroy
Glws-
Post a reply
About
MAJs gay bikes [she’s in her fitness era]
Posted by
@Maj
That was meant to be a DM, but fuck it.