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Day ?????? 3??? 4??
Today was the first day of actual riding and it didn’t start too well. Pulling up at the coffee shop, empty patio, maybe 30 chairs out, 5 degrees and a forecast to sleet we’re asked to move the bikes. Fair cop like but I think after a few days of German social bureaucracy I think we were starting to miss the lawless wastes of Britain.
The coffee was good, had quite a novel Indian bean that bela enjoyed for it just “being different from the usual manhattan fodder”. It was good, we executed but didn’t excite me, it did however waste 30 minutes talking about how we’d rather have a novel experience than a good one. Psychiatrists check in.
Rolling through the bike lanes we quickly ended up in the first gravel of the trip and I think the first proper gravel my bike had ever been on. Smooth forest roads were interjected with little diy cut throughs and drops that tijjy wanted to tackle on his 29r. Riaz wasn’t so convinced and kept asking why we were avoiding the ample cycling infrastructure for mud, let alone risking a broken hip. We compromised and said he didn’t have to ride it but he did have to take photos.
Rolling on there were other features, a small zoo featuring lynxes and baby boars. I’m not a huge zoo fan but it’s hard to not think they were cute and seeing any animal up close is a special experience. Not to mention within the animal park there was also a pump track? Odd concept but I’d like to see it more. Having 29, 26 and 16” wheels to try was a real bike radar moment and I have to say my final conclusion is I made the right compromise on my 26 and anyone riding 29 is a sheep.
The point of this ride was to get out to this lake. Tijjy said it has a perfectly smooth ring of tarmac around it which revitalised Bela and I had to hold onto the wheel powered by this Dutch soreen bar tijmen he given me as looked at deaths door.
the lake had a certain, Jason bourne, about it. The bleak Northern Europe grey, empty public spaces which seem liminal and hostile out of season. As if it was a place you’d come to realise you’d been activated in country and work out how you’d slip out of the domestic cover you’d lived under the last 18 months.
Once we escaped the early 2000s film nostalgia we headed round, avoiding the roller skaters and dog walkers. Again surprised by the sheer amount of public animal enclosures Germany had. This time it was deer and we spent a few minutes holding the attention of one of the most majestic bucks I had seen this close
It was at that time I had entered husk mode, I wanted food, I wanted heating and I wanted off this bike. The only motivation I had was a 9k dart back into town with the promise of a very large veggie burger king and some soviet era housing blocks
Let me tell you, I was a lot faster going back in than coming out with that on my mind.
Last full day tomorrow, but there shall be no riding
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vietnam gravel looks decent, 10/would ride
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I have been trying to write these reports as I’ve gotten in from the days activities, but tonight over dinner I was reminded of one interaction which I feel needs to be noted before I forget again
It was on the return trip, after the giant Burger King we stopped off at another coffee spot as the boys needed a little pick me up shot. I didn’t so offered to watch the bikes outside thinking they’d be in and out.
Unusually they were 15 minutes or more, so when the door swung open I expected it to be bela and tij but it was another couple coming out to pick up their friend waiting next to me . They seemed pretty disturbed and lucky for me they started speaking in English
“How was it?” The friend asked
“Nice you know, the decor and lack of options on the menu makes you think the coffee should be good, but the staff were weird”
My ears perk up at this point, it was the barista I mentioned in an earlier post so I was ready to hear how these people interpreted them
“Yeah they just didn’t seem interested in us? Just kept talking to these other two customers”
My scrolling stopped, I locked into a distant state, my neck craned towards them
“Like we were waiting to get their attention to be served but they just kept talking about coffee, the beans or something? Other shops?”
I tried to reason internally how many people could be in that coffee shop, it’s a specialty coffee shop, normal fodder surely
“It was so stupid, they kept talking about how coffee shops had different vibes and they wanted to come back here due to their mood? It was insufferable but the barista acted like it was normal, even encouraged it”
I was a wall flower disappearing into the brickwork, I dare not breathe less these people feel observed,
“Who even talks like that? In the end he just kind of gave us our two coffees without a word, went back to asking these two for tasting notes?? Like who even are these people”
It’s a rare thing to get such an insight to how others see you and your peers, to see how the other half lives
“Sorry Hayley, they made us drink it in there as they wanted to know our thoughts on it, great person, good vibe”
Riaz boasted but quickly must have noticed my flushed giggling face as the gossiping trio were scared off
“What’s up? What’s funny?”
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An important bit of information is that every morning and every night Tijmen has been making us food of a standard that is probably in excess of most upmarket casual eateries that I have ever been to, and to show our appreciation Hayley and I have been taking turns making sure he doesn't pay for lunch or groceries. So as after we made it to the BK we left Tijmen with the bikes and rolled in to secure the bag. Both of us were pecking away at the giant touchscreen order screens and although I swear I told Hayley twice that it was my turn to buy lunch, in her Husk Mode she couldn't quite understand this. The upshot was that we managed to buy four vegan whopper XXL meals between the three of us and although that may sound like a problem let me assure you that it's actually the perfect amount of food and I highly recommend it.
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I actually asked this to the boys while inhaling it, apparently the difference is if the baker is good or not
Bad baker? they open some sourdough pizza spot, only one of the options will be vegetarian and it will be too leafy
Good baker? They sell focaccia with either mozzarella or no mozzarella, no other options, they will not tell you if it’s vegetarian, you just have to see if they have a septum piercing or not
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Having 29, 26 and 16” wheels to try was a real bike radar moment...
This is my 'hearing folk talk about my friends discuss coffee shop vibes' moment x
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Look, right
German food, it’s just awful. They don’t like heat and put garlic and or paprika in everything as a leading flavour profile. Even savoury food has an off sweet taste. The supermarkets have such vast selections but it’s often of the same staple goods under different brands and price point; if they are biological or non biological. Specialty ingredients or regional items do not exist outside of dedicated stores.
This crucible forges a small minority of Germans who seemingly have the genetic mutation of tastebuds missing in the wider population to create some truly delicious bites. Small islands of reprieve amongst the seas of characterless Protestant food.
It’s not even like I’m a particularly harsh critic with a demanding palette, I’m a white woman who grew up in the Home Counties. If you’re disappointing me I can’t imagine how someone who tasted salt before 18 feels while holidaying in saxony.
Honestly, if it hadn’t been for @Tijmen and his partners truly spectacular cooking…
( I would audax through the continent just for their green chilli and white bean stew, seat a thousand challenge strada Biancis by hand for one more bite of his flat breads)
…every night and morning, I’d have considered paying for extra luggage next time I came just to bring basic cooking supplies.
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I used to drive bands on tour for a living and spent a lot of time in Germany. At one point I think I went for nearly a month without tasting hot food that wasn't just a can of tomatoes with some form of miscellaneous vegan protein and paprika in it. They make up for it with cheap lager and a dazzling array of fun soft drinks though.
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10 years ago I was on vacation in Austria - and the only thing I remeber eating was breaded and fried animal protein with a side of fried (deep or pan) potatoes and a choice between three or four different sauces..
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As a German
German food, it’s just awful.
I mostly agree. That doesn't mean you can't get good food in Germany though. Luckily we have expats and immigrants bringing nice food among other qualities. Even though quite some bollocks bellends don't like having them around and sharing their Specialty ingredients or regional items refined with garlic and or paprika as a leading flavour profile.
Josh
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kjlem
Tijmen
moog
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atz
Chaley
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ltc
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MisterMikkel
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About
MAJs gay bikes [she’s in her fitness era]
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Did lol