Does anyone know anything about gardening?

Bergenia

They love your greenhouse plants and go nuts?

These were in a long strawberry planter which had been sopping wet outside all winter

We want some screening plants at the back of our garden.

A local tree place recommended laurel plants and a neighbour has bamboo in a trough but are there any native alternatives that we should consider?

Something that will grow up and out quickly, and high enough to block the windows behind as far as possible? The developers who built the houses behind have put in silver birches and something else, possibly maple, but they aren't likely to do much in terms of privacy.

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I'd invest the money in some of those lolly pop tree things pleached trees. That way you still have the screen in winter.

We did look at those but they sounded like a bit of a faff in terms of having to move the frames up as they grow and so on.

Eucalyptus grows tall and fast. But also has a load of other downsides. An established bay tree. Generally I don't like laurals that much, but to get one high enough which also looks even I'd expect it would have to be fucking massive.

I'd also say you don't need a solid wall of vegetation for adding privacy. It's more about breaking up the directness of the view.

Dibs Spacehopper.

'* the useful poster enters the chatroom *

Let me know when that happens.

Anyone not in Australia or with koalas to rewild should be napalmed for planting eucalyptus.

Beech and holly hedging, with honeysuckle grown through it.

I know how you feel about Eucalyptus. But how long will a beech hedge take to grow and will it give you privacy?

I take it you can’t attach trellis to that fence and grow stuff up it?

Yes, probably 5 years. The question is really how long you expect to live somewhere and whether it is worth waiting for something good. Otherwise, you might as well bung up a wired frame and plant Russian Vine.

I still want the Spacehopper.

It's a bit unclear who owns what. There's a little alley behind our garden (which I think now ends at the panelled fence, formerly it was the chain link fence) and the gardens behind (where the trellis is) and in this alley is where the developer planted the trees.

I think that if we attached trellis to the fence, no one who cared would notice.

It's tricky, there are a lot of boxes to tick - ideally, nice-looking, evergreen, fast-growing.

I think maybe we should just plant the laurel for ease and speed, and then more interesting plants beneath and between.

You’d be surprised how quickly a native hedge will grow. Will have missed the boat for bare root this year. But I’d go mixed native: Holly, hornbeam, beech purple/green, hawthorn, blackthorn, hazel, field maple, Dog Rose, Wild privet. All year interest mix of evergreen, deciduous and wildlife friendly.

Laurel, I am guessing you mean Cherry Laurel, would certainly do the job. My one word of caution is that without a lot of constant pruning it will get very large at an alarming rate, with the leaves only appearing towards the top of each branch.

That's a perfectly good mix, but judging by the panels the span is about 9m. The presence of the Spacehopper indicates kids, so it my be wise to lose the dog rose, blackthorn and hawthorn. The remaining varieties would be more than enough, leaving kids and Spacehopper unpunched.

Those birches will fill out.

Would a climbin rose on that trellis screen the windows?

these guys don't like cherry laurel

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/cherry-laurel-may-best-choice-your-garden-heres-why-protectearth

I hate cherry laurel, the council have planted loads of it round here over the years. The cyanide smell released from its flowers makes it hard for me to breathe, I have to take detours when it is in flower to avoid it.

I wouldn’t really take too much notice of their opinions. Cherry laurel won’t be taking over a native hedge as there’s nothing there currently. Being poisonous to pets if eaten is not a bad thing especially cats that aren’t native, kill birds and shit everywhere.
They’re great for birds nesting too.
Cherry laurel ticks all the boxes - evergreen, grows quickly, great screening and kills cats👌

kills cats

and Kats

Indeed

Whoops sorry.
They are a kind of impatient persons go to for screening (me) but do have their pros and cons

I've got cherry laurel and a Portuguese laurel and they do the job of hiding the neighbours.

The leaves are quite big however, and there is another evergreen with smaller leaves that grows to the ground that we looked at that begins with a G and sounds like a German ww2 battleship. I'll Google.

Surely the kids will learn?

I like the idea of the native hedge mix which has evergreen elements to it. I think that's probably going to be the best for wildlife as well.