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I'd quite like to ride from south London though. He's just moved from East to South and I'd like to show him some of my favourite lanes on the way out. If I can just avoid killing him an hour before we arrive in Brighton I'll be golden. I'm definitely open to suggestions for villagey cafes though, I'm not particularly familiar with anything further than Caterham and wouldn't mind exploring that area a bit more on my own!
ltc-
There are basically two ways that are relatively flat. One is via Shoreham along the Adur Valley. The A283 Steyning Road isn't too bad for riding (mind you, it's not exactly great, either), although I've mainly done it at night. You can also cross the Adur further north and go along smaller country lanes. It's easy from Shoreham to Brighton.
This is the route we used years ago--obviously, ignore the silly bits at the end to the far end of the harbour and up Devil's Dyke and Ditchling Beacon and just go straight to Brighton from Shoreham.
https://web.bikemap.net/r/589729
The other is via Clayton Hill and then a short stretch of the three-lane-each-way A23 London Road dual carriageway. This is gently downhill and generally not too busy, but may of course not be your cup of tea. It's not a long distance to ride on it and you can be fast.
This is the standard route I take to Brighton. If you want to avoid Ditchling Beacon and do the above, just turn right in Ditchling towards Clayton and then do the A23.
https://web.bikemap.net/r/966957
(The route up to that point isn't mine but Simon Legg's. It's still my favourite way of getting out of South London in that direction. I don't like going via Caterham.)
Oliver Schick
if it's just two of you, you could start with a train out to any station around the South M25, plus or minus, then be fresher for any hills and take in a lot more of the villagey cafes