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  • My buddies were to appear on SM:TV a kids Saturday morning show. Their manager negotiated £600 a minute per band member whenever they were on screen. They were due to play a 3 minute song and then the singer would be on a panel for a quiz for 4 minutes. The whole band spent most of the show appearing in frame in the background. It was the biggest payday of their career, the bassist put a deposit on a house after that

  • I was a waiter at the 40th birthday party for the producer of that show. And or Dec, no idea which is which, fell asleep in the sun during the day and had a beetroot face and was semi delusional, Judy from Richard & Judy was so shitfaced she opened the cage lift about two feet too early and fell face first into the foyer (Andy Peters helped me get her into a chair), Philip Schofield arrived in a helicopter too pissed to speak and in the morning I saw Cat Deeley stark naked when the birthday boy (her boyfriend) let me into their room without her knowing to deliver a tray of breakfast, and gave me £50 for the privilege

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