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Yeah I know they're not fussed about getting stuff out quickly, unless they're getting more money from next day postage purchases. I just don't want it, I'm very obviously going to return it for a refund anyway (which I'm entitled to), so I was trying to save them the hassle of fulfilling the order when it isn't needed.
My next day delivery stuff ordered yesterday is - astonishingly - out for delivery today. My free postage stuff ordered a week ago still hasn't been picked or despatched, won't be for at least two more days, and they're being very elusive about letting me cancel it.
"Sorry, due to layoffs we have very few staff to fulfill orders"
"I know, so I'm trying to help by reducing their workload - let me cancel it"
"......"