Free fish, Koi, won’t somebody rid me of these troublesome fish

or try asking here https://www.koiforum.uk/ ?

You could make it the seller’s problem again. If it wasn’t in the contract that they were leaving them then they have to remove them.

Perhaps instead of getting rid of the koi, you should gain a trebuchet?

This sounds way better than Fishy Friday carp supper. Meet your new neighbours the fun way!

Advertise it as a fishing lake
charge for a fishing license
...
profit

Still have the fish. Told my daughter when they grow up they fly away so I think I’ll be ok. The fishy shopkeeper in the fish shop was appalled I was buying food at this time of year and said they’d be sort of fish hibernating but they are not they are swimming about doing fish stuff and have been hungry every day

As they are now confirmed hybrid mutant winterproof uberfisch the price is now £2 each or 40p for the big boy. Proceeds to the forum

Also relaxing the rule about eating them

Forum BBQ?

“I can’t be bothered to deal with a child drowning in my pond”

I’ve just remembered the sub plot for curb your enthusiasm season 11

Surely one large carnivorous fish is better than 40 small decorative ones?

can't quite believe how in a forum full of niche subjects, and how people go nuts for these things , that all you've got is a page and a half of jokes

Suggests there is no overlap between Koi enthusiasts and fixie skidders.

fishy skidders

Very good!

Fishy kippers?

Today started very promisingly, a heron has been spotted around the pond and all but the big one have vanished. The circle of life is nearly complete, but now the girls are sad that the one uneaten fish will be lonely and they want to buy some more.

My greenhouse vision is fading

Is the remaining fish called Becket?