What's a good alarm clock?

They're all crap, so this is mostly "which is least worse?"

All we want is:

• something basic
  
• with a screen that dims down to nearly nothing
  
• that is totally silent (not ticking)
  
• that doesn't require working internet to function
  
• easy to read the screen at 4am when you wake in the dark without having to figure out how to turn the screen on
  
  

This feels impossible.

It's not a smart thing, it's not a phone (which charge in the other room), it's seemingly not most clock radios... but it must exist?

Wouldn’t a plain digital clock radio from Argos to the job?

Many do not have dimmable screens, so the LCD display is at a fixed brightness which is like having a lighthouse in the otherwise totally dark room.

https://braun-clocks.com/collections/alarm-clocks/products/bc09-digital-alarm-clock-black

https://braun-clocks.com/collections/alarm-clocks/products/bc02x-braun-classic-analogue-travel-alarm-clock-black

Might fit the bill?

Projector Alarm Clock We use one of these, no reaching around trying to find clock, just open an eyelid

I have this cheap and nasty one from Amazon, but it does the job. There's no backlight until you touch the top and it has a dim glow for a few seconds so you can read the time.

the first of those I have... and you have to touch the top to temporarily light it up, which doesn't work for the person on the other side of the bed.

the second of those still produces an audible tick, I had it and disposed of it.

I thought this looked good https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lexon-Premium-Alarm-Clock-Aluminium/dp/B093CGN99C/

but it's touch activated in a different way, and the cats will walk on it.

I got this one https://www.amazon.co.uk/FAMICOZY-Digital-Brightness-adjustments-Crescendo/dp/B09277XRZ6/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?crid=2929T2QVEY9H4&keywords=digital+clocks+bedside&qid=1707729845&sprefix=digital+clock%2Caps%2C94&sr=8-12

Auto-dims during night hours. Red digits so fairly unobtrusive

that doesn't require working internet to function

A cockerel?

Hope I’m not stating the obvious, but whatever you go for, you absolutely 100% want one which doesn’t have a blue light. It’s distracting in the night and the blue light will bugger with your sleep.

My Casio watch does all of that. Wakes me up wherever I manage to fall asleep as well.

This is what you want. I have tried finding a link but coming up blank.

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I have an ancient Sony one with a big Snooze button as above that cycles through four backlight brightnesses, including zero.

^^ this?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00AYAE6SI
but OOS

That's the one! Got it about seven years ago - wanted a clock to keep track of time in the night for baby feeds. Hunted for something that was as dim as possible will remaining legible, and was battery operated, so that it could be placed where we could both see it.

Open up a bright one and put an ND filter inside it.

I have one of these and I absolutely love it.

https://www.lumie.com/products/bodyclock-rise-100

You can have it dim at night as well as in the morning, and has a beep alarm too.

I don't even use my phone alarm anymore.

I'm not 100a% sold on the daylight wake-up, but it is nice and handy to have a light to see when you wake.

This is very close to what I want https://mudita.com/products/alarm-clocks/mudita-harmony-2/

but just needs the light to be able to stay on at a very low, barely perceivable, brightness.

the software is OSS though... I may be able to just program the brightness and delay time to achieve it.

Could you hack a Kindle paperwhite to function as an alarm clock?

Probably, but that's more effort than I wanted to put in.

I might also just look on eBay for alarm clocks... modern ones are all very shite, but older ones (as people pointed out above) are far more purposeful and functional.

What's a good alarm clock?
Pets
Children
Anxiety
Dread
Doom
Overwhelm

Not all of them are programmable

Could you add some sort of filter to the front of this, or any of the others which are suitable bar their brightness?

I'm thinking like a photographic nd filter but in sheet form? Must be something out there like this, either self adhesive or maybe you can tape along the top edge such that the filter can be lifted/flipped during day light/non-sleeping hours?

Car wrap/windscreen tinting stuff might work

i find dread and doom the best