Let's offroad / mountain bike / mtb / ride dirt

I think you'll be ok.
I remember a customer coming in and telling us he'd ridden most of swineley on a road bike, including rolling the infamous "jump gully" with no issues.

caveat: not my fault if you die trying.

Those bits of Swinley are fine on a road bike. I used to commute along a few of those tracks on a hybrid.
Got some funny looks off the cool kids when I was riding the "downhill" trails on my trusty, slick shod, Boardman complete with pannier on the back on the way home from work.

Am I going to wanna kill people if I ride a road bike

Probably. Road bikes are a pretty miserable experience