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What I need is someone who loves working on bikes and lives in a shed with a load of tools and spare parts but isn't that keen on riding. Ride home, throw bike at BikeGimpâ„¢ and collect it again the next day for another ride. I'm so bored of tracking chain wear and sealant levels and fucking suspension settings.
I'm technically not a noob I'm just fucking lazy and should just ride rigid bikes even though I know suspension is good for me, I hate the faff.