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that only shows attachments when I restart
Is this being routed through hubs / connections that may not be fully active at startup... for example is it connected to a monitor and only comes alive when the monitor has fully negotiated the frequency and resolution?
This would sound like why you need to restart... you have latency somewhere that delays the establishment of the connection, but after having started a restart works because the right things in the right order now pre-exist.
In essence, there's latency somewhere about some connection establishment, and so there's an order things need to be started in and for whatever reason that order is not happening - I would guess external TB hub or monitor, but only you know your system.
I have a thunderbolt port that only shows attachments when I restart. So I have a drive attached to it and have to turn the computer on, then restart for it to show up. Evertim. Boi crie etc
What might the pathway for diagnosing look like - something a hammer to the bios would likely solve in one way or another?