Epic WTF

I got a an Avios upgrade to business for my wife and me for our anniversary and had no qualms about having free champagne early in the morning. Wouldn’t do it on an actual business trip when I’d be in economy as usual.

I have my first business trip in years next month. Seeing as it means getting to travel without a 4yo in tow, I will be partaking in every luxury I can get my grubby hands on.

Avios is what keeps me sane on our family trips to relatives in Canada.

This. Airports and aeroplanes are liminal spaces where the sun is always over the yardarm.

For all travel… except buses

Y'all are mad. There's little I'd hate more than being pissed and stuck in an airplane

This. 100%. It's about the only way I can sleep on planes.

How about food poisoning too? I used to live near Heathrow and the worst place for food hygiene in the area on the council report was the oyster and caviar place in the airport. I can't imagine eating a load of dodgy oysters and then getting on a flight.

Edit - course, it could be some sort of karmic revenge for being a flash bastard at an airport

Ok I need to add a "voluntarily" qualifier. Food poisoning would be awful and awfully funny to see the champagne oyster dick head get sick but they aren't actively seeking out salmonella. Booze however, you're making a conscious choice to have an awful time

Long-haul economy is inevitably a pretty bad experience these days, booze doesn't make it noticeably worse unless you get shitfaced (or even have a bit too much, in my experience that is)

making a conscious choice to have an awful time

This isn't how booze works for me.

It definitely makes me need to piss more and anything that means I have to do more trips to the planes loo is a bad thing

I don't fly very often so the wobbly piss cabin is a novelty.

I'm always shocked at the number of people who go barefoot or in socks to the toilet on a long flight.

Aah, a pissoir connesoiur

You define a good flight by negatives: you didn't get hijacked, you didn't crash, you didn't throw up, you weren't late, you weren't nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.

And gratefulness should mean a good old applaud once the tyres have hit the ground

Fuck you!

You're not grateful? You didn't clap?

I spent all my claps on the NHS. Hopefully they can use them to save a few kids' lives.

I'm not grateful, I will not clap.

I definitely enjoy a drink and in many situations but pissed on a plane sounds fucking horrendous. Not as horrendous as a mate of mine who did a 14hr flight on mushrooms though, if you ever need to torture me, do that and I'll sell out my mum in seconds. In the same vein does anyone have explanation on the near instant seatbelt release once the taxiing stops and stand in the aisle for 5mins til the stairs/skyway comes meaning no one can reach their overhead luggage?

I had a horrible time on a plane on acid once.

Can you get that in business class?

In the same vein does anyone have explanation on the near instant seatbelt release once the taxiing stops and stand in the aisle for 5mins til the stairs/skyway comes meaning no one can reach their overhead luggage?

They are the same cunts that aggressively/unnecessarily overtake you in a car only to stop in the queue of traffic whilst you sail on past filtering up the left/right.

MGIF (Must Get In Front) cunts.

(Free GC thread quote below here)

I flew LHR-SFO return about 10 times in 9 months. My best flight was when I fell asleep before take off and woke up after landing with the plane almost empty. Window seat, no-one had to disturb me, didn't disturb anyone else. Bladder management considered before even getting to the airport.

Second best flight was getting hammered in Upper Class on a Virgin SFO-LHR flight and playing cards with the stewards/stewardesses, and Mick Rock, at the "bar" (when they still had those on Virgin Atlantic 747s).

(All of which was mostly unnecessary, and I look back at my carbon footprint in shame.)