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  • He’s really thick as fuck isn’t he but cod Latin and a plummy accent have convinced so many that he’s some sort of polymath (choice family comment - “he’s not stupid at all, he went to Eton and Oxford and reads the classics in Greek”. Asked for evidence of his eruditeness didn’t provide any examples).

  • To the tune of Agado
    (apologies Fluck & Law)

    Stick a hairdryer up your nose
    Inject yourself with bleach
    Climb inside a Covid loan
    Push salami in your ears
    Press your partner’s palm with cash
    Disavow these fucken liars
    Never thought that they’d be seen

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