I hate

Cuntplates in general.

Ran past SK1 the other day. If I had stupid amounts of money and no morals I'd get that cuntplate.

(In reality, if I had stupid amounts of money I'd give most of it away.)

Maybe they're not scowling at the dog?

I think you're probably right.

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Got upbraided by some cunt dog owner today. Their animal dropped a massive wet muddy stick on top of some of my stuff, and I tossed it away because lol for some reason I didn’t want my kid’s coat getting shit all over it.

“She has a limp so she’s not allowed to play fetch”

Got it, you self-centred piece of shit. Let’s not get into the fact that you didn’t bother to control your dog when it was chasing after my daughter because she had some food. Maybe if your dog has a limp then she should be on a lead to stop her doing anything dumb.

Fucking people, man.

There seems to be a trend among the dysfunctional in society to use a dog to project their antisocial beliefs and behaviours. I mean, why else would they defend violence, not disposing of bodily waste and helping themselves to strangers food as acceptable?

Boy has just started school.

I didn't know that its a thing that the whole class gets invited to every kids birthday party.

24 kids in the class, so we're going to average 2 kids parties a month over the next year, 24 presents and 24 cards to get!

She shouldn't play fetch or play with sticks in general anyway. So many dogs turn up at the vets with very serious injuries from sticks getting jammed down throats and in mouths.

It tends to be individual parties for the first couple until parents get wise to it and group them 2/3/4 at a time. Surprised someone with an older sibling hasn't intervened already.

Whole class parties started to disappear in Y3 or Y4 we found. By Y6 it was down to her core 5 or 6 friends (including some from outside school).

It's great in a way as you can get together with another couple of kids and then hire Hatfield swimming pool, get allowed on the inflatable obstacle course and hurl yourself off the 5m platform while pretending it's for the kids.

When you do find a decent, within-budget gift buy them in bulk so you always have something ready and don't have to think about it again till next year.
See if you can do party share so you take 2/3 kids one time and then have the next few off. Good until you get to drop and leave parties. Try to arrange this so you take to the party where you know/like the parents already.
Have your kid's birthday in summer so the rampaging hordes can at least be outside. Bonus points for in the peak holiday season so fewer kids can make it. (Possibly a bit late for this tip).

Yeah, Boy's birthday is not until April, so things may have been sorted by then and groups will be forming. Still don't really know the other parents as we haven't had the first party yet (we did have a meetup in the summer at the local park before school started, arranged via the whatsapp group, but I can't remember anyone's names.

The RAC App, trying to report a breakdown which redirects you to their web page and sends you a link to report the breakdown on another web page which doesn't load. The next option if that doesn't work is you get a text message, which says if you don't have access to the internet, please follow this link to book your breakdown on our web page.

Ring the RAC who's jolly message shows have you tried our app...

Comical if it wasn't urgent

Glossy birthday cards that do not absorb ink and your message ends up smudged and smeared across the page (specifically group cards where the next signer mushes your heartfelt "HB - DB")

I always have one of these lying around for that kind of thing

https://www.staedtler.com/uk/en/products/markers/permanent-marker/lumocolor-31-mixed-sets-universal-pens-31-9wp4gs/

People who walk out of shop doorways - without looking- straight into you. Bonus cunty points if they get agitated with your sudden presence in their world

Expecially bad for the sinister amongst us.
(Though I see those pens eskay linked to are lefty approved - might get some)

That the initial print run of new books is always hardback, and you need to wait about a year before there's a paperback version, by which point you've forgotten why you wanted to read it in the bloody first place.

I usually have to wait about 10 years before the library gets the ebook.

Ah yes, we have the technology to send software updates to Voyager 2 in 18 hours, but apparently sending a 2MB file to public libraries in less than a decade is beyond our comprehension. What a world.

I did this on Tues sans agitation but with plenty of apology. I was already rushing and had sketchy locked a high value bike out of line of sight so very keen to get back to it.

You can charge double for hardbacks though.

yeah, sadly that's why they do it.
I'd happily pay the same price for the paperback though, if it's been recently released

I think the reticence of libraries to purchase ebooks is because not only do they cost more than hardcover the usage license is time limited, or so I've heard.

Oh man, this. When people step out of a shop and just start walking slowly in front of you, on a busy pavement, where believe it or not some other people might just be walking too. Or worse, when they stop entirely

I am not surprised in the slightest at that, and it's definitely not the library's fault. Borrowing a book for free is so antithetical to modern digital distribution methods, that publishers can't seem to accept a model that was standard just 10 or so years ago.