Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

two holes which combine into one

No, three holes (or two holes and a boundary, in 2D space) which cannot combine without fundamentally changing the topology. If you merge two of the holes, you no longer have pants, you have a skirt (or a boob tube, or a leg warmer, or a drinking straw)

not sure which trousers routinely came in two parts other than assless chaps

One thing I do know is that there were periods where armoured soldiers/knights would hang their trousers directly from their upper armour rather than tie them around their waists, and depending on the armour it wasn't always smart for the trousers to be a single item, in a "Oops, I just stood up out of my saddle to race a cheeky fella on a Brompton, only to find that the velcro in my bib shorts has attached to the wrong thing" fashion, one that didn't happen if they weren't joined at the crotch. Not going to google it, but pantaloons probably had a similar history at some point, which explains both pants and Americans. Aside from which, trousers, trews/pants/pantaloons could probably be classed as different names that people in different places or times gave to essentially the same thing, which could mean that even if a new name was given to what - at that point and forever after - was a single piece of clothing, the habit of referring to such things in the plural just carried on.

I’m standing firm on pants

Rookie mistake.

How many holes does a drinking straw have then?

One.

One thing I do know is that there were periods where armoured soldiers/knights would hang their trousers directly from their upper armour rather than tie them around their waists

Yes, and there were open crotch pantaloons for similar reasons of convenience. I think such designs come after the closed crotch unitary trouser, which may have existed for as long as 25,000 years according to archaeological discoveries in what is now, unfortunately, part of the Muscovy Empire.

When working in a more high fashion area than I do now, I got a lot of grief for using 'a tailored trouser' in normal conversation.

Take a ping pong ball, cut a hole on one side and then another on the other side, soften it with heat and manipulate enough and you'll have a drinking straw.

Plus two small discs you can show to passing theoretical topologists to prove you made two real-world holes.

which explains both pants and Americans.

Nothing explains Americans.

passing theoretical topologists

Lol

owing to a bout of insomnia, and browsing the memes thread for some light relief, this has somehow resulted in me falling down a research wormhole culminating in reading PhD abstracts relating to traditional Korean Hanbok Baji trousers at 4am.

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browsing the memes thread for some light relief

Rookie mistake.

if teenslain was still around he'd be lamenting the state of the meme thread currently

lamenting the state of the meme thread

If arguments about how many holes trousers have aren't a meme, I want to know what is.

Button hole…

Button hole…

The first two elements of a thorough wax job.

How much detail do you want? Belt loops, intertwined threads, made of bundled fibres, made of tangled molecules, possibly made of string

if teenslain was still around

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Brilliant

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That photoshopped pic pops up every time there is a flood now.

I'd just like to say after the recent discussion I feel utterly vindicated in the OP.

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and meetings are RTS

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That photoshopped pic pops up every time there is a flood now.

ok boomer