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  • Shoelaces. I’ve started hating the poxy things.

    Once upon a time, shoelaces were made of cotton (or similar) and were the right length. They stayed done up and weren’t so long they touched the floor or got caught up on stuff. Now they’re so long they dangle in all the piss on the pub toilet floor and they’re made of some nylon fibre with a coefficient of friction of about 0.000000001 and the fuckers never stay done up. They’re even like this on all of my safety boots where you really don’t want to be getting tangled up on stuff, because you’ll trip up and die. THE FUCK.

  • Watch the video on how to tie them, that will stop them coming undone.
    Once tied just tuck them into the top of your sock, that way the only piss they soak up is what runs down your own legs.

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