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Do you have the drawings the architect sent to the builder for the quote? You can just use those to get your own quotes.
If you'd just had one vague quote come back then I'm not really surprised it's come in so high. Some of the quotes we got were nearly double what we ended up paying so all it means is that it's time to shop around.
Check you local planning site for applications from the last 2 years near you, go to those houses and see if the work's done, and if it is knock on the door and ask who their builder was and if they were good. That and instagram were good for us to find someone (the logic being that if the builder puts their work in instagram they care to some extent about quality).
In my opinion it's important to demand a fixed price and a full itemised breakdown. Otherwise find another builder.
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fredtc
@Sparky
I definitely didn't give them a blank cheque. I made it clear at the start, and throughout, what our budget was. He continually assured us that it would be enough to do the work. But he's never, ever given us a breakdown of expected costs, or any costed reductions to bring the current plan down to meet the budget.
At the moment I don't know what to do other than send an email outlining all my concerns and where I think he's not followed-through on what was promised, and wait for a response. But I feel so battered by the process already that my current gut instinct - no doubt just a panicky, reactive, temporary feeling - is to sell the house and run away.