The joke up here is to earnestly ask the Geordies if they heard about the big smash on the A1 by Washington?
Yeah, big lorry full of terrapins crashed and the cargo went everywhere.
It was turtle chaos.*
*The punchline works best with a Geordie accent, in my esteemed opinion :)
A tortoise was mugged by two snails whilst crossing the road.
When the police turned up they asked him what the snails looked like.
I don’t know, he said, it all happened so fast.