Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

A man of great taste

TBF given the state of the proper leather shoes thread these days I wouldn't be surprised if loads of folk on here were rocking a pair.

the name brothel creepers really got me, didn't even care what they looked like.

I admire your action taking.

There's a Range Rover owner in our building who parks over two spots, I've long been joking about getting a stencil to spray on the wall behind those spaces 'two spots one cunt' but I'm too much of a pussy.

We had a problem at my little community centre, which has four parking spaces, with a white Audi convertible that regularly parked across two of them in the evening. Last winter when we had a very cold snap I poured a cupful of water over the screen every 20 minutes building up a 15mm thick layer of ice.
She hasn’t parked there since.

Do it! That and a set of cock caps on the tyres would be chef’s kiss business

white Audi convertible

There you go

I used to take child no.1 to Water Babies which was hosted in the pool in a Hilton gym.

There was a guy there with a Maserati who'd park sideways outside the entrance, not even in a parking bay.

Still space in this world for a good old-fashioned potato up the exhaust pipes….helped in by another potato and a mallet.
Diced-up rotten fish in spoiled milk poured in the ventilation ducts is a nice vintage touch too.

that's someone who is 100% purposefully looking for a confrontation

Curry powder in the vents works well, especially if they put the blower on before they realise.

Also, molybdenum grease (the black stuff) rubbed all over the windows and under the door handles works well. Force it down the window seals and it re-coats the windows every time they get wound down.

Or so I’ve heard.

Or someone for whom a fine is just a fee.

Or someone who really wants to be able to answer yes to "who does the Maserati outside belong to".

Someone who also gets very uppity when you disregard it and say "who does the blue car outside belong to".

I'm in a petty but satisfying micro-war with a cunt on my road who parks over two spots in his beat up, rusty, dented 15 year old golf which he treats like a vintage Ferrari, polishing it weekly. Whenever I'm passing at night and he's over two spots I let his tyres down. Twice I've replaced his dust caps with 3D printed cock ones I got off eBay. I wrote 'everyone on this road thinks you're a cunt' in frost on his windows during the last cold snap and on the next night, on my way home from the pub, pissed all over his windscreen which froze as well. Watching him scrape the piss-ice off the next morning was a pure delight.

best thing I've read all day

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There was a boy racer round these parts who always made a racket for no reason.
His tyres were paid a visit from the nail fairies.
This was before I moved here, but I like the story.

There's a kid across the road who I'm harbouring very malicious thoughts toward. Will often spend 15mins revving and hitting the limiter on his motorbike whilst stationary at midnight for no apparent reason. Will then spend about an hour going up and down the road popping wheelies and doing those bikelife tricks. It's most annoying as a 1min ride around the corner is a 1.5km long straight road through an industrial estate where no one lives

oh that's a type, people who go out at midnight to rev their cars/motorbikes

Tiny dick warning sirens.

On a very, very basic level I get it, loud vroom vroom big sound feels good, just go do it round people who also like it ffs, literally everyone you're doing it around now fucking hates you, go away

an industrial estate where no one lives

what would be the point then?

I feel insulted by this post. I have a tiny dick and have never gratuitously revved my engine nor acted anti socially. Such sweeping generalisations are both offensive and prejudicial against those of us with little willys who just want to be treated as full and upstanding members of the community.

Upstanding, fine
Full, not a chance

Oi! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size mate?!