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I'm in a petty but satisfying micro-war with a cunt on my road who parks over two spots in his beat up, rusty, dented 15 year old golf which he treats like a vintage Ferrari, polishing it weekly. Whenever I'm passing at night and he's over two spots I let his tyres down. Twice I've replaced his dust caps with 3D printed cock ones I got off eBay. I wrote 'everyone on this road thinks you're a cunt' in frost on his windows during the last cold snap and on the next night, on my way home from the pub, pissed all over his windscreen which froze as well. Watching him scrape the piss-ice off the next morning was a pure delight.
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