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Cycling down Park Lane years back, a clearly pissed moped rider was kicking at a car until the driver got out. Rider was trying to hit him while unable to stay upright - his jeans and underwear fell down to his knees at one stage, and he still kept swiping at mid-air rather than fix them. It was rather unedifying.
Got off my bike, took the big bunch of keys from his moped (which he'd crashed into the kerb) and threw them over the 12 foot wall of one of the big embassy-type buildings. Went on my way, he's still probably wondering where his keys are.
I saw a really pissed bloke crash his motorbike a few years ago. Luckily just at 2mph and just in to a wall which also didn't take any damage. He was clearly about to get back on so I pocketed the keys and walked off with them. He was too hammered to even notice me taking them out. I am a hero.