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  • 2 bags of Werthers Originals have silently appeared in the house. I'm not ready for this.

  • Count yourself lucky. This week, in the year that I planned was my hillclimb comeback season, I discovered that I have moobs. More shocking still is the nightmare that this will lead on to finding myself wearing a M&S burgundy and blue striped polo shirt, grey slacks and sandals.

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