Any question answered...

Here ya go

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should have been clearer

Although it's definitely worth taking a few pairs of foamies as a back up for when the electronic ones get lost.

Something with foam tips will probably do more to keep the sound out than noise cancelling. A good seal in the ears is the important bit.

I’m Going to acquire some disposable ones from work, just going to look at the snr and how this will relate to Billie Eillish and drunken 16 year olds getting their GCSE results.

A mate who does Tour Manager/Driver/Merch recommended active noise cancelling to get some space

I never did this , one reason for my hearing aids

Any other alcohol smuggling suggestions? She drinks cider and Malibu (not together) I thought of fake catheter and urine bag would get a pint in.
Shampoo bottle and Malibu mixed with thicker?

You could potentially fit a decent sized Malibu bottle in the middle of a tent bag, wrapped in the tent

Cider in a ginger beer bottle and then use a soldering iron to reseal the security tabs.

If non alcoholic drinks and food are allowed you have plenty of options

Seconding bottles/tins in the middle of tent rolls and sleeping bags (though if you do get a very keen security person, they will check here). And I remember an old girlfriend put a bottle of vodka inside a teddy bear once...

Wine box bag inside a hollowed-out loaf of bread.. or the cavity of a roast chicken.

Wine box bags or camelback bladders are relatively easy to hide. The bladder will smell permanently of bacardi.

My go to used to be Capri Suns. Drink them, refill them with your spirit of choice and hide them about the person.

Needs to be the ones with reusable tops

Re. Cider …. Fake ID is too tricky so it’s what you can smuggle in. I hear vodka coloured with food dye in mouthwash bottles is the way to go

White wine in a colostomy bag is far, far more effective.

Edit: already covered!

So, i've got a parcel awaiting payment of customs charges at the local parcelforce depot.

Online it says i can pay at the depot to release the parcel for delivery, but can I pay the customs charge at the depot and pick it up at the same time? The website doesn't help, I rang customer services, but got bored waiting in the queue.

can I pay the customs charge at the depot and pick it up at the same time?

Yes

Is this sufficient seatpost insertion? The frame is a pompino.

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Drawing doesn't look to be to scale, but if you have a third of the post in the frame and it's 20mm through the junction, it will be fine

Does anybody have any experience of the cheap MTB hubs on ebay? this kind of thing
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/354782290783

or am I better off going with with a pair of M475's? (QR/QR)

Any not tips, leads on deals for a 12mm through disc brake road wheelset around the £300-£400 mark? A friend has Pringled their rear wheel and I’ve lent them a set, but I now need them back.
Cheers ta.

Single speed with QR disc brake options? Needs to clear 35's with guards and mounts for them. Not a big fan of the Genesis options and Bombtrack/All city probably out of budget.

If it's single speed rather than fixed, you can just use a freehub wheel with single cog and a tensioner surely. So any cross bike with guard bosses.

QR might slow down your search though. You'll be looking for something from about 2015 or earlier

Brilliant, thanks. So I'm bang on 14" chain needed

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these if @broken_777 still has them
https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/382591/

this kind of thing

You can get M525 for that price e.g.
https://www.bikeparts.co.uk/search?q=M525*&filter.v.availability=1&filter.v.price.gte=20&filter.v.price.lte=30

Benefits include proper skewers and the old school Shimano freehub rotor which is probably going to be available in some version until the heat death of the universe.

Will pass it on :)