You are reading a single comment by @jBola and its replies.
Click here to read the full conversation.
London Fixed Gear and Single-Speed is a community of predominantly fixed gear and single-speed cyclists in and around London, UK.
This site is supported almost exclusively by donations. Please consider donating a small amount regularly.
jBola
Black_Rainbow_Project
Oh believe me, grinding is the right word. After spending the morning building my new DJ console, I had to stop halfway to force myself to eat, before going out in 40kph winds to work for four hours, come back home, eat some more, then start painting the DJ console...which I'm still doing now. Tomorrow will be much the same.
It might look like I just get on with things on the outside, but I'm still a mess inside...still self harm...still think way too many bad thoughts etc
The good thing is that the reason I haven't done anything 'final' is because I'm determined to actually finish some things in my life before I do. There are things I want to finish, and feel proud of, so until I achieve those things I should hopefully still be around...but I won't pretend I have a single day where I'm actually happy. Some thought always stops that being the case.