Overheard at the LFGSS golf club bar

I’m Secretary of Seniors Tennis GB

I was certainly glad on that day to be in an Aston Martin with the power to push it to 190 mph

Dagnab it.

How did I know that would end up here?
Again, no apologies. It was a very lovely car indeed and I adored it, and I'm glad I owned one.

While we are here, although I despise the sport, and cannot hit a golf ball with a golf bat to save my life, I have made all these websites in the course of my career. It's all my fault.

My boss does a good line

lol

Again, no apologies. It was a very lovely car indeed and I adored it, and I'm glad I owned one

but we don't give a shit, that's the point

My boss does a good line

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^ that bog is more night club than golf club tbh.

they invariably give me a manual courtesy car

I'm a director of my own Ltd company

I think Waitrose has quite a few nitrite-free salamis

I don't think there's anything wrong with referring to 'your brothers in Africa'.

I don't think I've ever seen a black climate protester in the UK.

on occasion I'll need to use water to clean off or neutralise the stripper

neutralise the stripper

Cheaper than paying their blackmail demands.

the 2 child cap seems fairly reasonable to me

I only have one middle class black friend

But being a former media person

Poor old Nige.

I'd like to announce that my lifestyle has become ridiculous and I'm not getting in this thread at all... something is clearly wrong with the internet.

In the past month I've had 3 business class flights, and 1 first class... all on air miles. I've stayed in 2 x 5 star resorts, enjoyed a board meeting, an SLT offsite, gone to Palo Alto, Napa Valley, driven a few supercars. Been invited to several actual golf courses (is that what they're called?). Stayed at a mansion in a vineyard with this mind blowing cellar (attached), and a library that had a hidden room behind a bookshelf with a metal briefcase full of cash (WTF!). This is before the "oh yeah the private banking with NatWest is better than HSBC, and you wouldn't want Coutts as you actually have to go in and talk to them rather than just handle everything over the phone, I've got my own account manager now who sorts everything and has just set up my Cayman Islands account".

I dunno... obvious imposter at levels of society I should never be allowed to access.

On one hand... WTF, can someone pass a grenade? On the other hand... oh, the view is nice up here... but still, grenades please.

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I didn't even mention the very serious and real conversation where two people were discussing which private jet they should get next and how someone had called his first jet "the indefensible" and the second "the indispensable".

Also... the capuccino at the last resort was $11.

USD 11.

Total jokes.

There's me in my £5 bamboo T-shirt thinking that the coffee was more expensive than my clothes.