Audax rides

Kent is v big tho innit. Rochester, Ashford, Romney (strangely enough), Ramsgate and Birchington - these are dickhead hotspots for certain. But in my experience the rest of it generally has very good driving and I'm more than happy to boastpost my veloviewer to prove my experience.

Also tubes FTW

What about Surrey?

What about Surrey?

We do not speak it's name.

It's ok after like 8:30 pm on a weeknight, but even so there is no A21 to smashfest back into town. The justification for riding around there in the daylight is thin IMO

I’m fairly sure that people drive like absolute cunts when there’s good weather. Or they seem to up here in Scotland. Did the Abbey Craig 600 on the weekend and the amount of terrifying overtakes, close passes etc I experienced was frightening. And the amount of weed I could smell from passing cars around Cupar… Maybe I was just unusually exhausted from the heat and a bit sensitive to it all. Who knows.

Just to add to this, the most road ragery experience I ever had was when a guy closed passed my girlfriend and I on the Hebrides and then after I called him a wanker threatened to kill us both. So I guess you get cunts everywhere.

I did the B Shifty 600 on Tuesday and yesterday.
The ride went OK, but I am completely confused as I now feel it must be Monday today.

That was my pbp qualifier.

Quite a pleasant route. Basically two out and backs from Bristol to the sea. The first in West Wales, the second in Devon. The roads couldn't be more of a contrast. Wales had quite a lot of smooth, quiet A road (including much of the Welsh 12 hour course). The Devon one was mostly rough lanes and loadsacars.

Cheddar gorge was a highlight. Hadn't ridden it before. It is steep, but only for a very short section. Pretty.

Probably the worst saddle sores I've ever had. Not sure why, maybe not ridden my bike enough lately as been riding on a tandem. Or the rough Devon/Somerset roads.

Or the rough Devon/Somerset roads.

I had very sore bits on the Wessex 400k. Think that was mostly newer model knicks. Still not sure. Also sitbone bruising. Since doing all these hilly rides I'm very tempted to ditch the Adamo and go back to a normal saddle to spread the weight over a larger area (#hippyisfat), since I'm rarely on the aerobars for long now.

There was something weird. I was too sore to go on the aerobars on the second afternoon. I guess the wessex roads are worse than Europe.

Roads in Wales were good though, so it was just one day of arse hammering. Plus in and out of Bristol a couple of times, those roads are terrible too!

I am on a different frame but I think it is set up the same, same saddle and other contact points.

wessex roads are worse than Europe.

Yep. Pete's (Wessex SR org) emails literally mention playing a game called "Is it a road or a riverbed?"

I'm probably 5kg heavier than TCR years these days so that's possibly a contributing factor too. That and spending more time in pubs than on bikes these days.

Basically: are you fat? :P

5kg

citation needed

Um, I was usually around 88 and now I'm 93? If you need independent witnesses to look at my scales you can send £5000 to hippysprisonguard@hotmail.com

I find a "hands-on" approach, produces more accurate results.

You're up West aren't you?

Let me find the bodyglide...

Easily seen on Google maps.

#visiblefromspace

You'll need to enable Fatellite View.

"
Zoom out!

Unenhance!
"

Basically: are you fat? :P

You've probably nailed it. I'm 5kg up on what I'd normally be (used to be) this time of year, so 74-75 rather than 69-70, so that's got to be a factor.

I got some smart scales last year and they say I should be 63kg, which I haven't been since I was 14, but it would no doubt help arsewise to get down to the right side of 70.

I can't imagine what it must be like to have an extra 15-20 kg going through the same bits of skin :o

I can't imagine what it must be like to have an extra 15-20 kg going through the same bits of skin

I can. I'm 25kg+ heavier than I was when I did LEL in 2009 (and I was probably still carrying ~6kg too much then). My weight has yoyo'd many times since fatherhood, and I was just starting to get it going the right way (again) when I tore my MCL so that's delayed things by 6-8 weeks.

Problem with Audax is I found I could eat/drink whatever the fuck I liked and I'd still lose weight. Nothing tastes as good as skinny a Ginsters pasty on a garage forecourt at 2am somewhere along the A44. The problem comes when I inevitably stop doing as much exercise and don't curb my eating habits accordingly. My marriage almost certainly wouldn't survive another 50 point season, and I'd miss a lot of dad time too.

I can't imagine what it must be like to have an extra 15-20 kg going through the same bits of skin :o

Welcome to my world.

If I stopped drinking for a month I'd probably go some way to dropping that extra. Maybe I should try running again - then I can do proper damage to myself in just a few minutes rather than feeling I need the big time sink of cycling.

The problem comes when I inevitably stop doing as much exercise and don't curb my eating habits accordingly

This is a big factor, very hard to dial back your appetite when calorie burning falls. I suspect there might be biological reasons why your body feels the need to build up a reserve if it thinks there is a risk it will get sent on another long ride!

Also it's easy to get into bad habits and pig out when you know you're going to burn the calories. But the habits can be hard to shake...

I don't know if any of you lot did Arts and Science at the weekend - here's a quick write-up.
We set off 30min late due to train times and the course led along the Grand Union towpath dodging dog walkers and scooter commuters to escape to the suburbs.
Sadly we caught our first rider early as Milltag's Pete Kelsey was having his broken leg attended by paramedics. This was my biggest ride since I hit the deck in the Surrey hills precisely one year ago and broke my hip so my heart goes out to him and the recovery work he'll need to do in the coming months - heal soon man.
Once out on the country roads Xavier and I were properly in our stride rolling at evens - my 66 inch gear was starting to feel like a bit of an error as I span along at >100 rpm!!!

By the first control at Thame we'd caught the back of the group including a few fellow fixed wheels which was reassuring.
Up through the Cotswolds for a control at Moreton-in-marsh we started hitting the hills and feeling the sun (35 deg on the Garmins). At Kinver Coop control the young folk were topping up their tans on the sunny side of the street whilst we old gits conserved energies in the shade.
Shortly after Kinver we passed our friend Michael and settled in for what was for me the toughest leg of day 1, I was bitterly regretting my saddle choice (which had been purely on aesthetic grounds) and suffering in the heat and hills but still making a steady 24 kmh moving average.
Although just an info, we made a meal of Ironbridge, stopping for a plate of chips and coffee. The next leg up to Rugeley was probably my favourite part of the whole ride, rolling hills, wheatfields, charming villages enjoyed in the cool of the evening and the late golden hour. Stunning. Climbing and descending cannock chase in the dark was great fun and Xavier was in his happy place banging out the miles....
We decided to go lux at Ashby around 1230 with a room at the premier inn by a 24h MacDonalds - 200min of sleep sandwiched between cold showers and chicken sandwiches. Over breakfast, a local lad showed us his wounds from small town saturday nights - I'm quite squeamish so a lacerated wrist in blood soaked bog-roll was about as much as I could handle and we were back on the road again by 0445 and I tucked in behind Xavier, rolling through Loughborough to the golden arches of the Colsterworth control for breakfast muffin and coffee...
We joined a table of riders nervously checking the weather - both the mercury and direct headwind were due to rise to epic levels making the remaining 210 km some of the hardest of my life and we very soon began to regret wasting the coolest and stillest hours on sleep and food....
A brief lie down in the Peakirk churchyard and on to Oundle control - a charming town of scholars in voluminous pin-stripe-pantaloons. Fortified with salted peanuts and caramel iced latte's we pressed on to Cambridge, stopping briefly in St Ives to lie on the floor of an air conditioned Shell and refill bottles.
The toughest was still to come as we faced the dystopian guided busway - 15 km of concrete utterly exposed to the midday sun and full-frontal headwind. At Girton I moved onto Mars ice cream while Xavier lay beneath a tree with a bag of Coop iced peas on his head conisidering his life decisions.
From there back to the Ally Pally, a mere 80-odd km was mostly silent - ignoring the pitiful average speed, winds, hills, horrendous Cambridge road-surfaces, and focussing on turning pedals.... By this time I was less focussed on my saddlesore as my achilles tendons were approximately the size of table-tennis balls and really starting to hurt...
Around Potters bar I lost all feeling in my 4th and 5th fingers (who'd have thought that a fixed 600 on velox cloth tape and 25mm tyres would cause discomfort?) and at just over 36h we rolled up the ramp to the finish just as our mate Michael was heading home having had a couple of hours of roadside nap and a largely wind-free lincolnshire leg.
All in all a fabulous ride. I was up at 5 for an early Monday flight but made it to my physio on Wednesday to thank him for his sterling work on my broken leg last year and get some reassurance about the ulnar nerve situation.
The achilles have died down and I've discovered that the carefully learnt 'ankling' techniques I'd picked up in a racing manual from the Poole public library in the early 80's were genuine bollocks so I have some re-learning to do as well as tackling my snobbish antipathy to tri-bars.

Amazing write up, thank you.

@ElGonzo who is going to talk about Wander Wye?

Is that the Willesden 600k formerly known as Last Gasp? I think I rode that to complete my Hyper after DNSing Pendle in 2019 or so. Remember Jaq Sheet about it other than finishing in a pub somewhere random (it's not a circular or OAB route) with the org.