City riding was never pleasurable for me, but it was tolerable. Now though, it’s quite intolerable. Ah well. It will subside, or it won’t, but it is what it is.
It's different but the same; After I got robbed badly, it took a long time to confront and deal with the anxiety, it still causes me some issues now. Feel for you. All i can say is step into the space that feels difficult, when your ready.
As a London rider, was it ever pleasurable? I'm not sure it was.
Feel free to chat about the anxiety stuff here, as we understand your situation. Took me a month or two to get back on the bike after being rear ended. Was afraid of it happening again.
The anxiety sucks. I've got similar around town and it's sucked a lot of the pleasure out of city riding. Hope you get everything sorted soon.