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TheBonk
And today’s ride into work could win “The Pretentious” award. Firstly I’d like to say we don’t enjoy any of the trappings of the things you are about to read and some how live in a very nice village.
I open my garage door by pressing the button on the zapper (we only have this because my MiL lives with us and can’t open a normal door) and this morning as well as opening the door it also scares 6 pheasants out of the hedge and onto the drive. I opened my front door at which point the pheasants run out onto the road. I get on my bike and ride out of the garage pressing the button to close the door as I go. As I get to the road I see that the pheasants have been joined in the road by the peacock that lives at the Hall opposite us. I ride towards them all, the peacock does what peacocks do and lifts his tail and gives me the eyes. I carry on riding towards the group of birds. At which point the bloke that lives round the corner comes round the corner in his R8, he slows down, but the peacock and his new friends aren’t for moving. So he dumps the clutch and hits the gas. The results are spectacular to say the least, there were bangs, pops and flames coming out of the back of his car like a grenade launcher. Anyway the birds shit themselves and scattered in all directions into the hedges. Matey waves at me and drives off. I carry on my merry way, I ride down the hill past the Vineyard at which point the road narrows a bit and I have to pull in to the entrance to a farm to let the chap coming up the hill past me. I wouldn’t normally bother but make drivers hug the verge or bump a long it, but not this time as it was sat dead centre of the road and he wasn’t going to move an inch. Which is understandable, because lime green Lamborghini Huracans are bloody wide and stupidly low. The driver gives me a thumbs up and I roll down the hill some more. I turn the corner and roll to the junction to the more main road. A what do I spy looking at me from the porch of the house opposite? It’s the other peacock in the area, no one owns this one and it just rocks up at few houses and begs for food every now and then. I carry on some more and ride past the sewerage works, which always brings you back to reality and then along the river and beside the broad.
Normally I see 1 maybe 2 cars before getting to the river and they are usually regular cars, but today was just plain weird.