This morning's commute and other commuting stories

I haven’t got any nice pictures today or any tails about otters and eagles, but…
I was riding home today though the usual stop start traffic and had a (I thought) police officer step out into the road and stop me. This is how the chat went.
PO- would you mind getting off your bike?
Me- no worries, what’s up?
PO - could you move your bike out of the road?
Me- what you want me to block the footpath with it?
PO - well no, ok could you move it closer to the edge of the road so cars can get past easier?
Me - sure.
PO- do you know why I stopped you?
Me - No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.
PO- firstly can I take your name?
Me - no you’re alright thanks.
PO - well how would you like to be addressed?
Me - Sir will be fine
PO - Well sir, you undertook that line of cars coming up to the traffic lights and then cut in front of a car causing it to stop to avoid hitting you.
Me - really?
PO - YES
Me - No that’s not what happened at all.
PO - I just watched you do it.
Me - no I filtered down the inside of stationary traffic and stopped and indicated to join the flow as it started to pull away from the lights, I joined 2 cars from the lights and the car driver motioned me to pull in before they moved.
PO- well you’re not allowed to undertake
Me Are you sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure you are able to filter in traffic or there would be no point in having a bike or motorcycle.
Po- anyway you haven’t got any brakes on your bike
Me - what’s this then (points to front brake)
PO - but it’s not connected to anything.
Me - (Points to lever on the bottom of the bars)
PO - but how would you be able to operate that whilst riding?
Me - (pulls brake and shrugs)
PO - but you’ve no back brake
Me - (demonstrates how a fixed wheel works) ( I also noticed they were a community support officer)
CSO - hmm…but you’re not wearing a helmet.
Me - would you like a shovel?
CSO - what was that?
Me - nothing, sorry you were saying.
CSO - you’re not wearing a helmet.
Me - I know.
CSO - you should be, it would save your life in a crash
Me - I really haven’t got time to teach you the laws of the road you want to inflict on people, so I’m just going to get back on my bike and ride off. Okay?
CSO - I haven’t finished talking to you
Me - well I’ve finished taking to you
CSO - if you ride away I’ll call for back up.
Me - this could be fun, I’d enjoy seeing you being told how wrong you are about the rules of the road.
CSO - if you leave…
Me - I’m off, I’m going that way and then turning left. I wait the blues twos and the screech of tyres as the police come and take me away for not breaking the law.
Me - bye.

Needless to say in not typing this from a cell.
Arsehole!