Audax rides

Dauntsey Dawdle report

@youramericanlover and I rode Dauntsey Dawdle 400 over the weekend, it was unchartered waters for the both of us and certainly left its mark!

A 6am start from Raynes Park meant an early night after carb-loading then on the road from Greenwich at 4:49am. Getting out the door at that time usually means catching an early flight and a modicum of excitement for the imminent holiday, my body started to get the message that something different lay ahead as we cycled past the dregs of Friday night, crackheads and the odd scuffle on Clapham High St. It was cold and the deeper we got into the suburbs the colder it got.

We collected our Brevets and set off into the way too crisp morning. Soon enough we were part of a little train, it just started to stretch beyond us but we made the call to catch it and hang on. Discretion being the better part of valour YAL rightly called the pace just a tad too hot so we let it go. We settled on a few guiding principles for the day:

1. No heroics
   
2. Any time is a good time to stop for a break
   
3. Keep it fun
   
   

We rolled deeper into Surrey, the day started to brighten but it was absolutely not getting any warmer, my mesh base layer was a baaaad choice and my nipples could have found a side-gig as diamond cutters, fuck me it was baltic! The lanes through Surrey were great, the Woodlands through Shere a particular delight. It was shortly after this that we came across a rider down just after a hairpin on a slippery descent. She’d taken a fair hit and looked in significant discomfort but was surrounded by people, nothing we could do/add so we rolled on through Surrey, a nasty little climb and then to the first control at Easebourne. We sidestepped the bacon rolls and flat whites, quick stop and rolled out.

Some lumpy riding over the next 40kms through West Sussex and into Hampshire but I was feeling good, really good. Some stunning lanes and good riding had me feeling euphoric! Another relatively quick control stop at New Arlesford (Tesco Express, egg & cress sarnie and a bag of cashews) and we rolled on. The lumpiness started to get a bit relentless and the lanes more and more ‘agricultural’, the wind seemingly coming from every unhelpful direction possible. But spirits remained high and we set our sights on the next control at Amesbury. Porton Down MOD was thankfully open so we avoided a 7km detour, the wind becoming all too obvious on the big red flags!

Amesbury, what a shithole. We sat down on a bench for a bit of rest and some food but didn’t linger for too long; you could almost smell the GBH in the air so we bounced before becoming statistics.

Traffic near the A303 was predictably wank and I could definitely feel it in the legs now along with a few aches and pains that started to emerge; left knee and achilles certainly bothersome but not super worrying at this stage. A 50km stretch to the first info control at East Tytherton proved a little too far so I called for a quick stop in a sunny, sheltered spot to eat something, question my life choices and stretch my left calf. Spirits were lifted by a few very pretty villages and the sight of a resplendent white chalk horse on the side of a hill but we were now in need of real rest and, more importantly, real food.

We hit Cirencester just in the nick of time and beelined for a rather nice sit-down chippy. We were joined by other riders including a group of three Brouleurs who were somewhat optimistically hoping to get back to Raynes Park around midnight. It was around 7pm at this time and there were 160kms to go…

Bellies full, leg warmers and all other layers on we cruised out of Cirencester, the roads quickened and I called it: 1km turns and lets try to make a dent in this. It worked. Minds focused on the task at hand we rolled really, really well fuelled by tons of free flying protein, a lovely sunset and the sight of a bouncing and bobbing Muntjac that had us absolutely giddy! Info control at 280kms, a well earned bocadillo and we continued in the same vein towards Oxford North service station, the last stretch of that on the A40 was fairly shite. Kind of our own fault for not reading the route sheet where the cycle path was mentioned.

Quick refuel at the service station and then we hit the centre of town around 11pm. Almost got wiped out by a couple of students veering all over the road on their bikes, then people spilling out of pubs, noise, traffic, minicabs… Combination of all this made me feel a bit unwell and almost panicky so we pulled into the next petrol station I spotted with a shop barely 5kms after having left the control. Chocolate milk, a cereal bar and I felt infinitely better! We continued into the night, hard work. The chat and jokes had pretty much dried up now and then we hit Howe Hill, nice enough climb but would have been nicer without 350+ kms in the legs.

We hit Henley (final control) at quarter-past-way-too-fucking-late and didn’t hang around long, doubled-back on ourselves out of Henley and crossed paths with the three Brouleurs from the chippy. My arse was in bits by this stage, everything hurt and it all just seemed interminable. It wasn’t until we’d trundled past Windsor, Staines and Kingston that I finally began to feel like we’d actually make it. Raynes Park, 3:45am. Broken. Cup of tea, shake of the legs and then had to climb back on and ride to Greenwich. 24kms I certainly could have done without, pure suffering on CS7, police doing their best to keep things from going full Mad Max in Clapham. Somehow made it back to Greenwich, 458kms all-in. 24 hours I won’t forget in a hurry for myriad reasons. Chapeau to YAL, would not have made it round without him.