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I've run 42T cassettes for a long time on Di2 and we've both run road Di2 on gravel bikes. There can be some chainslap but you'd have to big fangin' in the smallest cog and suddenly stop pedaling. It's basically a non-issue. If it's a consistent problem it sounds more like the seal thing mentioned, or maybe something needs a clean - like you've over-greased the freehub or something and it's sticking a bit too much.
it's the last piece of the puzzle isn't it... it does spin very freely though?
i wonder whether the inertia of the slightly larger 34t cassette also has a role though. when you stop pedaling the cassette continues for a bit and causes the chain slap