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  • People on planes. Something about plane travel brings out the worst in a large part of the population.

  • That time between the plane landing and getting off the plane. Never am I more angry than during that 5 minutes, even if I'm not in a hurry. If you are in front of me and hesitate even momentarily then help me god.

    No idea why and probably should calm down

  • I’m good with that. It gives me chance to gather my stuff from the cubby holes around the seat bed thingy. I do like a lazy casual glance back at the people in seats waiting for me to move my fat arse before they are allowed to move forward.

  • Were you on a flight from Singapore the other day? Some bloke yelling at me to move forward when there was about 20cm between me and the next person in the line. Bit later on I saw him having a very heated (on his side) argument with a nonplussed Swiss immigration official. Karmic reward.

  • Do you stand up as soon as the plane touches the ground, all the way out on the runway? If so I hate you. Stay sitting down and switch your phone on like everyone else, don't stand up and start opening the overhead lockers and make the cabin crew come over and be shouty. Drives me crazy.

    (obvs as soon as the plane stops then get ready to get off)

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