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The UK trains are fucked as well. To get from Glasgow to London we had to take separate trains because we couldn't find a time where 2 bike slots were available. Proceed both of us sitting on each of our trains watching an empty bike slot for the whole fucking journey. Which fuckwit created a system where someone can book out the entire day's bike slot? Also fuck those bike slots - half the bikes don't fit in them and god help anyone who isn't a powerlifter trying to hook those bikes on.
There should be mandatory guards vans that can hold 10+ bikes on every train on the planet.
I'm not saying Eurostar is perfect but I presume that most of those complaining it are based in London because if you'd ever tried to arrange getting from oh, say, Glasgow to London by public transport with a bicycle in tow (to then get on the eurostar) you would really understand the definition of a cluster fuck.