Retro mountain bikes

I’m stuck with my marin (95 bear valley se). I can’t let go of it cos it was my dad’s, it’s had a creaky stem that has survived 2 headsets- one ck- and three stems and 2 bars. I really want to go aheadset. the paint is fooked cos i snapped a drop out and got it repaired but i rattle canned over the weld. so I could pop a new mismatching fork in and make it more ratty but have had a nightmare sourcing a fork second hand with enough steerer cos the bike is a gate. Other issues are: I want it to look like a tarty hipster ‘sled’ but all of the above plus I need it to carry my d-lock, never puncture, still be fast, and not cost a ton; plus there’s a load of ugly bits on it, like weird early 2000s twin spoke wheels, a seat bag, the lock holder, deore x3 chainset and 8 speed altus/gripshift gears, plastic mudguards and 1.5 skinny marathons; all of which function really well and have miles left. I’m even thinking of asking winston to extend the steerer. I need a life coach to make a plan. I vaguely know that if I do the work the bike will finally snap in half on it’s maiden voyage. Sort of like when Gok pulls back the curtain only to find his made-over participant collapsed on the changing room floor.