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  • Tories lose next election by 100 seats
    Johnson's JCB arrives with "Boris can win" on the side
    Boris wins leadership election
    Party is further mired in sleaze and scandal
    Mogg leads fractured party to 10 seats into 2029 election

  • Don't break my heart. It'll all be for nothing as soon as the opposition leader fails to eat a bacon sandwich again

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