I hate

What kind of monster takes a trolley through the self service check out, Jesus Christ if you’re
doing that you need to take a long hard look at yourself

Some supermarkets (Tesco, Asda, plus others?) have self checkout zones for trolleys, sepearate from the basket zones. I hate it when basket shoppers sneak into the trolley zone!

They may have them, but only a beast would inflict that on themselves.

For the small trollies, in stores where scan and go does not exist, they are a god send. Why should I load all my stuff onto a belt, have some other person handle every single item, slam it down a small metal slope, then try and pick up my now disorganised shopping?

Load trolley efficiently, scan one by one into waiting bags, pay, collect sweet sweet clubcard points, fuck off.

I was beckoned into one as a basket shopper when there were empty tills there but a queue at the basket checkout. Felt proper naughty. But the space! It's like getting the exit row on a plane.

Lol don’t even get me started on small trollies, a sick perversion in their own right

Racing trollies.

Visiting Pret? #poshbird

Insane.

They are absolutely amazing. Lighter. Stuffer. Better engery transfer. Less far to put stuff in. Less far to reach things out. Perfectly adequate for most shops.

Let me guess you ride a quill stemmed Thorn with ALL THE PANNIERS and ALL THE GEARS to commute to work.

Visiting Pret? #poshbird

Outed!

Rep

I’d enjoy seeing them love.

OnlyFans >>>>>>>>>>

Commute to work? It’s 2023, I commute by rolling out of bed and scratching my ass.

Tbh, stepping foot in a supermarket in the first place is pretty disgusting. All the stores have apps, just do a click and collect like a normal person.

If you are home all day working then you might as well have the supermarket deliver to you. Keep that step count even lower.

I enjoyed this and it is now part of my vocabulary, thank you.

You're welcome

What about soft purchases? You arrive at the self-checkout with heavy stuff at the bottom of your basket (Bananas on top, un-mashed). The soft stuff will go through first so ends up at the bottom of your bag if you pack it straight away.
Nah, just don’t be selfish. If you have so many items you can’t be express at the express checkout go express your experience and expectations to industry experts and ask for a medium-speed exits.
In my experience it’s the software that holds my transaction up with slow scanning, ponderous product finder app and tetchy bagging area.

You lot don't know you're born.

In France banks charge for debit cards, which means nobody has them. Cash is still very much a thing. Cheque books are free, so we're still in the age of old biddies slowly writing cheques. Or finding the exact change, and there's always some vouchers, and a conversation with the till lady that goes on for hours. Also people fill their shopping bags as they go round, then empty them onto the conveyor, then fill them again on the other side. Self-service tills are rare. And supermarkets seem to have a policy of not restocking popular things, just letting them run out for weeks.

International golf circuit >>>>

La belle vie

The bonus of a full size trolley is you can fit a folded Brompton in whilst doing your shopping.

The bonus of a racing trolley is that you can put a crate of beer in and out without fucking your back.

Self-checkouts fail 100% when you attempt to use a bag which already has something in it which is fucking annoying.

Specifically, the sort of synchronised clapping that people feel compelled to do to accompany live music.

Fuck off you simpleton fucks.

100% this. I cringe myself inside out when it happens.

It's amazingly annoying isn't it. I have a Pavlovian response to the intro of Strictly because of that fucking"oi!" shout in the first few bars but mainly because of the incredibly pedestrian clapping with the theme tune.

https://youtu.be/iP1hdgNcDlk

enjoyed this and it is now part of my vocabulary, thank you.

I've got more time now should expand on the etymology of "racing trollies":

I graduated in 2001 and went to work for Tesco Stores Ltd, in their IT department graduate intake scheme.

The first couple of weeks had all of us graduates in a training programme, that started with the inevitable ice-breaker bullshit.

The room of twenty of us were asked to name, amongst other things, something that we loved about Tesco or the Tesco brand. (pukes on cock at the memory, but I digress).

Around the room we went, with everyone making up some crap about "reliability" or "values" or "consistency" or even "historical entrepreneurship" etc etc ... ad nauseum.

One of the last to answer was a mouthy young man by the name of Henry Price, who answered "Racing trollies!" - much to the bewilderment of the trainer running the session.

When pressed, Henry told us that the Tesco nearest to his university halls has introduced the mini trollies during his second year. It was situated at the top of a long but shallow road, so they would liberate them in the middle of the night, using fake pound coin tokens, and race them down the hill, whilst completely shit faced.

He and I remained firm friends for the next eight years. (Maybe I should look him up)

I reckon Googling Henry Price is going to just give you hoover cost info.

Nominative determinism if that's what he ended up doing himself.