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  • It appears that essential workplace gatherings include breaking a child’s swing, shagging a colleague in a cupboard and getting so hammered that you vomit up the wall.

    I don’t think I’ve achieved any of those at non-work related parties (not for want of trying, as others will doubtless attest), but I think my odds would be significantly improved if I worked at No 10.

    Is this what they mean by the politics of envy?

  • breaking a child’s swing

    I once got stuck in a Little Tikes car and the roof had to be cut off to get me out - am I qualified to run the country now?

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