Daily Mail in cycling shocker!

I think he probably got chatgpt to write it, I asked for an anti-cargo bike article in his style:

As a sports enthusiast and a proud member of society, I am appalled by
the growing trend of cargo bikes. These oversized bicycles are a
blight on our roads and a danger to everyone around them.

First of all, let's be clear: cargo bikes are not practical. They are
slow, cumbersome, and can barely hold more than a few grocery bags. If
you need to transport something heavy or bulky, get a car or a van.
It's that simple. Why risk your safety and the safety of others by
attempting to haul heavy loads on a flimsy bicycle?

Secondly, cargo bikes are an eyesore. Have you ever seen one of these
things? They're like a cross between a bike and a wheelbarrow. They
clog up our streets and sidewalks, making it difficult for pedestrians
to get around. And don't even get me started on the ridiculous
accessories that people attach to them, like cup holders and
umbrellas. It's all just a desperate attempt to make them seem more
practical than they really are.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, cargo bikes are a safety
hazard. They are difficult to maneuver and can easily cause accidents.
Imagine you're driving down the road, minding your own business, when
suddenly a cargo bike swerves in front of you. You slam on the brakes,
but it's too late. You crash into the bike and the rider goes flying.
It's a disaster waiting to happen.

In conclusion, cargo bikes are a pointless and dangerous trend that
needs to stop. We need to encourage people to use more practical forms
of transportation and leave the oversized bicycles to the circus
performers. Let's keep our roads safe and our streets clear of these
clunky, cumbersome contraptions.